Naalimpungatan ako ng madaling araw dahil sa uhaw at sikip. Oo at mabigat na nakadagan sa akin.
Nagulat ako makitang nakasiksik ako sa dibdib ni Vito at nakayakap sya sakin. Kakawala na sana ako ng humigpit ang yakap. Gising sya!
"Where are you going?" Bulong nya. Nagtaasan ang mga balahibo ko sa katawan.
"Uuuh... ano nauuhaw kasi ako," nahihiya kong sagot. Alam kong namumula ang mukha ko kaya hindi ko sya magawang harapin.
"Alright, get me some as well please," tumango ako. Dinampian nya pa ako ng isang halik sa noo bago ako pinakawalan. Ramdam ko ang pagwawala ng puso ko.
I slowly sit when I felt the sore down there. Napa-inda ako. What is that?
O__O
Did we make love last night?
Fuck! I was drunk pero ramdam ko naman na-tolerate ko.
What happened? Bumigay ako. Binigay ko.
Natataranta ako at the same time hindi makapaniwala. I know I was happy kasi sya ang una ko. Wala akong pagsisisi. Hindi lang talaga ako makapaniwala.
I tried to act like I didn't think of it. I was gonna try to stand up but the sore is still there. I felt the pain.
"Are you okay?" I felt him sit beside me then check on me."
"Did we?" Nahihiyang tanong ko.
I felt him embraced me. Kinulong nya ako sa mga bisig nya. It's like he's giving me the assurance. He wanted me to trust him. He wanted me to feel that his with me. I could feel his gentle touch.
Ano ba itong puso at isip ko. Ang gulo. Vito made me feel those mix emotions. I was brokenhearted yesterday and now I am feeling all his love for me.
Mahal nya ba talaga ako?
I sighed. That doesn't matter anymore. All I care is him being with me. Kontento na ako sa unti-unti naming binubuong relasyon. It's no clear label but I guess our legal marriage will do.
He planted his soft kisses on my shoulder. I grasped. I slowly close my eyes feeling his warmth. His hands traveled onto my body.
Napahinto lang ako at napalayo sa kanya nang marahan nang maalalang hindi ako naligo kagabi at ramdam ang lagkit ng katawan.
"Pwedeng magshower muna?" Nagmamadali kong tanong. He laughed so hard. Nakakainis anong nakakatawa? Dali dali akong tumakbo sa cr. Grr!
Akma ko nang isasara any pinto ng pumasok sya. Napaatras ako ngunit lumapit sya hanggang sa mapasandal ako sa sink. Sinunggaban nya ng halik ang mga labi ko na agad ko namang tinugon. It was a deep kisses. It went down to my jaw, down to my neck and found its way to my nape. It was a swift move of him. Suddenly, he was behind my back.
"Bend over for me."
We did it over and over the whole day. He was with me and never left. We cuddled all day. Hinatiran lang kami nila mama ng pagkain pero hindi na kami inistorbo.
No one talked. Nakuntento kami sa yakap sa isat isa. It was a moment to I wanna cherish kaya I just let myself sleep in his arms.
The next day, I woke up without him beside me. Narinig ko sya kagabi over the phone na need nila magpromote ng movie nila ayon sa kausap nya. So maybe he's there now.
It's Sunday today. Bukas pa uli may pasok kaya ginugol ko nalang ang oras sa pagpapahinga.
I turned the tv on that I wish I never did. It's them in a media press conference. There are people asked about their status because there are photos spotted them together outside. I froze.
"Girlfriend mo na ba si Shieya, Vito?"
And his answer torn me into pieces.
He smiled and nodded.
I was devastated. I couldn't describe my pain. I wanna throw myself up. I wanna cry so damn much para mamanhid. So I can move forward.
But I know I can't do this here.
And so I left.
