She's little

chapter 46

i had managed to get james to give me some time in my apparent—not that he wouldn't let me, he'd just been slightly more protective over me since i really started slipping, opting to stay as close as he could get.

and its not that i don't like James house, i love James house- it was the cosiest place ever, with all the old rugs, rustic wood designs, and his massive old leather couch that looked like it had been housing peoples butts before the word butt even become a thing.

"long time no see." my brother said standing in my doorway.

I looked up from my phone, my lips quirked at the sight of him. He had a teasing expression on his face, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes in response. "Shut up," I muttered with a smile, tossing a pillow at him.

Mason caught the pillow with an effortless grace, his laughter filling the air. He crossed the room and dropped onto the bed beside me, his body landing with a soft thud. For a moment, we just lay there, side by side, the comfortable silence between us speaking volumes.

Mason nudged me with his shoulder. "So, what's up? Anything interesting happening in your life?" He casually inquired, his tone light.

I shrugged, trying to feign nonchalance. "Oh, you know, the usual," I replied, my words punctuated with a small sigh. "Just the usual teenage drama, school work, and whatnot."
his gaze lingered on me, as if he sensed there was something more beneath the surface. His hand reached out, gently tousling my hair.
"James is in the kitchen."

I raised an eyebrow, my curiosity piqued. Mason's departure, leaving me alone in my room, sparked a mix of confusion and intrigue.

I hesitated for a moment but then curiosity got the best of me. I stood up from my bed and quietly made my way out of my room and down towards the kitchen. As I got closer, the soft sounds of hushed conversations and laughter filled my ears.

I leaned against the doorframe, peering into the kitchen. It was a familiar scene—Mason engrossed in a conversation with James, their faces illuminated by the warm glow of the kitchen lights. They were both smiling, clearly enjoying each other's company

this would have been sweet if i weren't so weirded out by James and him ACTUALLY getting along.

I couldn't help but notice the genuine connection between James and Mason. It was a strange, yet oddly comforting sight—seeing two of the most important people in my life getting along so well. Despite the initial surprise, there was a sense of warmth that settled in my chest.

"what are you doing here james? i thought you were going to give me the day to pack for camping?" i said looking at him.

James' attention shifted to me, He flashed me a warm smile, his eyes softening. "Good job remembering, Dianna. You're right."
He took a step towards me, his gaze filled with affection. "I just wanted to check in with you and see how you're doing. Are you all packed and ready for the camping trip?"

i knew he was lying, he was checking to see if i had slipped

I could feel his gaze searching for any signs of distress or discomfort, but I brushed it off with an easy smile.
"Of course I'm ready, James," I assured him, not wanting to worry him. "I've packed everything i need, and I'm excited for our camping trip."

James studied my expression, his concern evident in the slight furrow of his brow. He took another step forward, his hand reaching out to gently cup my cheek. "Are you really okay, Dianna? You can be honest with me," he murmured, his voice laced with both love and concern.

"i'm fine."

I gave James a reassuring smile, trying to put his worries to rest. "I promise, I'm alright. Don't worry about me," I said, reaching up to gently squeeze his hand. "Let's just focus on having a great time on our camping trip, okay?"

by the time that evening rolled round James was parked outside my apartment complex

The familiar sight of James' car waiting for me outside my apartment complex brought a sense of warmth, reminding me if the time, James first picked me up for school. I took a deep breath, my heart fluttering with a mixture of excitement and a hint of nervousness. Gathering my belongings, I stepped out of the building and made my way to his car.

I couldn't help but let out a soft groan as my eyes landed on the car seat in the back of the car. "Really, James?" I muttered under my breath, my expression shifting to one of slight annoyance.

James chuckled softly at my reaction, clearly amused by my reluctance. "Come on, Dianna," he said, patting the car seat with a playful nudge. "You know it's mandatory now."

i rolled my eyes nodding "yea i know...i just don't want everyone else to see me in it..." i said quietly.

James' expression softened as he noticed the hint of self-consciousness in my voice. He placed his hand on my shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. "You know, Anna, you don't have to feel embarrassed about it," he reassured me. "do you really think your friends are actually going to judge u?"

I sighed, feeling the weight of anxiety in my heart. James's reassurance eased the tension slightly, but the fear of being judged by my friends still lingered. I looked up at him, my eyes searching his for any reassurance. "I know they won't judge me," I replied quietly, "but it's just uncomfortable, feeling like a baby in front of them."

"you feel like a baby around me? why is it different with them?" he asked cocking his head.
"you know why it's different." i say staring at him

James' eyes held a understanding look. He knew exactly why it was different—because with him, I had dropped my guard. I could be my true self, even if that meant regressing to a younger headspace. But around my friends, I felt the need to maintain a facade i had been playing for years, to act more mature and capable.

The thought of them seeing me in this vulnerable state fir the first time was both embarrassing and terrifying.

James placed a gentle hand on my arm, his gaze filled with reassurance. "You don't have to pretend or try to be something you're not, sweetheart," he said softly. "Your friends care about you, and they'll understand. It might feel different at first, but they'll get used to it."

"now come on, we have to go." he said reaching to pick me up and set my in the car seat.

I sighed, resigning myself to the inevitable as James lifted me effortlessly and placed me in the car seat. The straps were buckled snugly, securing me in place. I leaned my head back against the cushioned seat, feeling a mix of embarrassment and a touch of childlike helplessness.

suddenly James reached over and clipped something to my jacket.
a pacifier clip.