Life Without You✔️.

30: One Miscarriage And A Broken Heart

Ayman's POV
Abuja, Nigeria.

Bilkisu had confirmed that she was pregnant after she'd been sick for sometime and was irritated by everything so I urged her to take a pregnancy test and it came back positive and wallahi, I couldn't stop smiling since. Every moment with her felt deeper now  like we were already a family of three. I brought her breakfast in bed, ran her baths, made sure she took her vitamins, and held her like she was a treasure wrapped in silk.

She giggled one evening, brushing her fingers through my hair. "You're spoiling me too much, Ayman." "Habibti, you're carrying my baby. I'm not spoiling you I'm investing in jannah," I grinned, pressing a kiss to her forehead. But the warmth shifted quickly.

We were in the living room when she casually dropped it. "By the way, I went to Bibi's place." I blinked. "You what?" "I told her about the pregnancy. She was surprisingly polite, by the way. Even hugged me. Told me to let her know when I want to shop for baby things."My chest tightened. "Bilkisu, you should've told me first. You can't just go to her house and—"

"I thought it would be the right thing. We're all family, aren't we?" she said with a pout.

"Yeah, but these things need to be handled with care. I should've been the one to break the news on my own time. Please don't go ahead of me like that again." She looked down. "I'm sorry. Next time I'll speak to you about things like this before I make any decision."

I nodded okay with what she said and pulled her closer. Silence fell before she lifted her eyes again, soft with worry. "I went for my antenatal visit this morning. They confirmed I'm nine weeks along. But... I'm high risk."

I felt my heart drop. "What do you mean?"

She inhaled shakily. "My progesterone levels are low. The doctor said I have a luteal phase defect and might have trouble sustaining the pregnancy unless I rest, avoid stress, and take my supplements religiously." I held her tightly. "That's what we'll do then. Nothing stressful. I'll take care of everything. You just focus on being okay."

I meant it. I did everything I could. I stayed home when I could, worked remotely where I could, cooked for her too when I was free.

But we plan and Allah plans.

By the end of the week, I was at the office in a long, boring meeting when my phone buzzed with her name. And being the co owner i didn't need to seek for permission from Anyone I picked the call immediately 

"Ayman..." Her voice was broken. She was crying. "Bilkisu? What's wrong?" "I'm bleeding. It's bad. Ayman, please... please come." I didn't waste time I got up immediately. I stood up, muttered something about a family emergency, and ran out of the building.

When I got home, i ran upstairs and found her on the bathroom floor in a pool of blood. Tears streaking down her cheeks, her abaya soaked, hands trembling. "Ya Allah..." I whispered.

"Everything will be fine don't worry," I repeated like a prayer as I grabbed fresh clothes and helped her out of the blood-soaked fabric, trying to be gentle, trying not to cry.

At the hospital, it happened so fast. Transvaginal ultrasound. No fetal heartbeat.
Confirmed miscarriage at 9 weeks.

Diagnosis: Threatened miscarriage progressing to inevitable miscarriage likely triggered by progesterone insufficiency, stress-induced hormonal imbalance, and poor nutritional compliance.

We lost the baby. Just like that.

When we got home later, I helped her into bed. Her eyes were swollen. She didn't speak. I tucked her in and sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing my face with both hands. She slept for hours. When she woke, it was to the sound of her own sobbing.

"I'm sorry," she kept saying over and over. "I'm so sorry, Ayman I'm sorry... this is all my fault." I turned to her quickly. "Hey, hey, Bilkisu. Look at me. Don't say that. This wasn't your fault. This could have happened to anyone this is a test from Allah and you will overcome this test as well insha'Allah you need to stay strong. And believe in the Qadr of Allah everything He does He does with a reason."

"But it is," she cried. "I didn't take my vitamins like I should have. I wasn't eating well. I didn't want to gain weight... I thought if I got fat you'd stop loving me. I thought you'd prefer Bibi... so i pretended to eat everything you gave me and I sometimes skipped the vitamins.

I froze.

"Babe, listen to me," I said, grabbing her hands. "You think I care about any of that? Wallahi, if you gained a hundred kilos I would still love you like this. Fat, slim, tall, short you're mine. I love you just the way you are, be it on your best days or on your lowest days I'll love you even more then. You're my world. And you carrying my child made me love you even more. And even though the baby might not be with us anymore you still making effort to get through this is why I love you more today and will love you even twice as much tomorrow.

She wept harder. I kissed her forehead and stayed with her till sleep pulled her under again. I dreaded the next day because I'd be spending the next three days away from her to be with bibi and it happens to be when she needs me most. But i can't bail  on the promise I made to Aunty Shafa. So I spend the night and the next morning assuring her that everything was going to be just fine.

For the first time in months, I dreaded walking through that door I did dread going in everyday but today's own felt different. I expected cold silence, maybe a forced smile as usual.

But Bibi surprised me. As I stepped in, she looked up from the Qur'an she was reading and said calmly, "good evening, how are you doing and Bilkisu?"

I paused, unsure. As I hadn't mentioned to her that Bilkisu was pregnant but somehow I knew what she meant by how Bilkisu was doing. It felt weird that she didn't learn about something like this from me but from someone else.

"She... she lost the baby." Bibi's eyes widened, real concern painting her features. "SubhanAllah... is she okay? Have you taken her to the hospital?"

I nodded. Then she said, "Do you mind to calling her? I'd like to speak with her."

Something cracked inside me. Something small, but deep.
This girl.
She had every right to be bitter. Every right to rejoice in the loss.
But she chose compassion.

She chose kindness.

And suddenly I realized... I had never really understood the kind of woman I had married the first time.

السلام عليكم 

Finally I can breathe I was sooo busy today guys you wouldn't believe what I'd done today even if I told you 😭💀 but on the bright side I updated right? Sooo a miscarriage and a realisation from Ayman👀. I hope he realizes his mistakes soon cuz I don't think Bibi can hold on much longer. Anyways don't forget to VOTE COMMENT AND SHARE❤️❤️. We're almost at 50k reads so to unlock the next chapter share till we're at 50k and who knows it might be a double update🤭.