Desolate Love

Chapter 26: A Fragment of Space

Vaughn POV

The days that followed were a haze. Every morning, I went through the motions—arriving at the office, greeting the HR team, finding my place in the corner where I could focus on the artwork. I didn't care if I had to put on a mask. I wasn't there to make friends. I was there for the job, for the commission that would pay my rent, nothing more.

Alec and Toby had kept their word—at least, partially. Alec didn't hover as much. He respected the space I had asked for, though it didn't make him disappear entirely. I could still feel the weight of his gaze from across the room. Sometimes, I would look up, and there he was, watching me like he was waiting for some sign, some flicker of acknowledgment that I wasn't the same person he had abandoned. But I refused to acknowledge it.

Toby, on the other hand, had taken a more indirect approach. He had stopped trying to talk to me, though I could sense the tension in the air whenever he entered the room. He still looked at me when he thought I wasn't paying attention, his eyes full of regret and longing. And I hated it. I hated that I couldn't just turn off the emotions that twisted in my chest when I saw either of them.

I had kept my head down, focused on the work. I had designed images for the company, commissions for various HRs, like the one I was supposed to be working on today. It was all simple—the faces were just outlines, no complicated emotion, nothing I had to dig deep for. But even in the simplicity of the task, there was a part of me that couldn't focus. My thoughts kept drifting, swirling like a storm cloud in my mind.

I leaned back in my chair and stretched, rubbing the back of my neck, trying to dispel the growing tension that was wrapping itself around my body. I needed a break.

"Vaughn, are you doing okay?" came a voice from behind me.

I didn't even need to turn around to know it was Alec. His voice was softer now, quieter. It was strange, hearing him speak in that tone—like he was trying to break down some invisible barrier I had placed between us.

I paused for a second, the question hanging in the air. He wasn't asking because he cared about my work. He wasn't asking because he cared about me as a person. No, he was asking because he wanted something more—wanted me to acknowledge him. Wanted me to forgive him.

I didn't turn around. "I'm fine," I muttered, my voice a little sharper than I intended. "I'm just working. I don't need anything."

There was a brief silence, but I could hear him standing there, still waiting for me to give him something. I hated how patient he was. How willing he was to wait, to give me whatever I needed to move past this.

"You don't have to be so cold," he said, the words more like a plea than a statement.

I finally turned in my chair, meeting his gaze, but I didn't let myself soften. I kept my face blank, my body rigid with tension.

"I'm not being cold," I replied, trying to sound indifferent. "I'm just doing my job."

Alec's face tightened slightly, a flicker of hurt flashing in his eyes before he masked it. "I know you're angry with me, but I'm just trying to make things right. I'm trying to give you space, like you asked."

I nodded stiffly. "And I appreciate it. I just need time, Alec. You can't rush this."

He took a hesitant step forward, but I held my ground, refusing to let him get too close. I couldn't let myself forget what had happened between us, what they had done to me.

"I know I can't rush it. I wouldn't ask you to forgive me now," he said, his voice soft, almost pleading. "I just... I want to be here. For you. If you ever want to talk or need anything—"

"I don't need anything from you," I interrupted, my voice colder than I intended. "You're not entitled to my forgiveness, Alec. And you're not entitled to my trust. Not yet."

The words hit harder than I expected. I saw Alec flinch, but he didn't back down. Instead, he looked at me with a mixture of regret and something else—something that might have been hope.

"I'm not entitled to anything," he said quietly, "but I'm still here. And I'll keep trying, even if you don't want me to."

I could feel my chest tighten, the anger bubbling up again, but I didn't let it show. I couldn't let it show. So, I just nodded, turning back to my work, hoping he would take the hint and leave me alone.

But of course, he didn't.

"I'll let you get back to work," he said softly, the words almost too gentle, too full of understanding. "But... if you change your mind, I'll be here. You know where to find me."

I didn't respond. I couldn't. Instead, I focused on the blank canvas in front of me, pretending it was enough to block out the emotions that swirled in my chest. But it wasn't. Nothing ever was.

Alec left without saying another word, but the silence he left behind was deafening. I couldn't breathe for a moment, feeling the pressure of it all settle in.

Why do I feel this way?

The question echoed in my mind, over and over. Why did it still hurt so much to see them? To hear their voices, to feel their presence in the room?

I hated them. I did. They had hurt me, abandoned me when I needed them most, and I didn't owe them anything. Not forgiveness, not my trust. I had spent years hating them for what they had done.

But then why, after everything, did my heart still beat a little faster when I saw Alec? Why did a part of me want to cave in and let them back in, even though I knew it would only lead to more pain?

I didn't have the answers. And I didn't want to find them. I wasn't ready to face that side of me—the side that still yearned for them, despite everything. So, I buried it. I buried it deep inside, where it couldn't hurt me.

I stared at the canvas in front of me, the strokes of paint looking blurry now. I wasn't sure if it was the tears I was trying to hold back or the overwhelming exhaustion that weighed on my shoulders.

"Fuck," I whispered to myself. "I'm so fucking tired of this."

But there was nothing I could do about it. Not yet.

For now, I would keep doing my job, keeping my distance, and trying to ignore the gnawing feeling in my chest that wouldn't go away.

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I had to proof read this so many times because "Maps" by Maroon 5 was playing and it low-key fit them so well, it might be their song.

And then "She's so gone" played straight after as if that isn't made for Vaughn atp.

Anyways hope you enjoyed this chapter - I'll try to leave less Author Notes unless anyone wants them (though I doubt it haha). Bye guys!