Savior ↛ Phan

Chapter 4- Secrets

I watch Phil's chest as it slowly rises and falls. His hands in loose fists and he lays on my bed, sprawled out. His mouth is slightly open and a light snore escapes from his lips.

I bring my knees to my chest and rest my head on them as I sit in the corner of the bed, back leaning against the wall. As I stare down I begin to ponder, my thoughts clouded with stupid scenarios.

"Come on Phil, it'll be fun." I smile.

Phil rolls his eyes and groans, "No. We're not going to some stupid ballet thing or whatever it is."

"I bet you'll be crying by the end." I smirk, "Just, come on, okay?"

"Fine." He angrily says and crosses his arms.

That scenario ended with me crying as Phil made me feel better. Damn him and his feelings of steel.

One that really caught my eye was one where Phil smiled. Really, genuinely smiled. His smile and laughter showed in his eyes. I wish that I could see that in person...

Then, there were the darker ones that still slightly haunt me. Phil dying in my arms, people hurting Phil, Phil hurting himself. They all left me with a aching feeling in my chest and warm tears forming in my eyes.

I blink and shake my head. Happy thoughts soon swarm in and I'm left with a goofy smile that I can't shake off.

~

Something tickles my neck and it makes me squirm around. I hated anything on my neck. Wind even irritated it enough to make me want to scream and claw at it.

My eyes properly focus and the light isn't blinding me as much anymore. I look behind me and see Phil. His face is facing my back. Were we...cuddling in our sleep? I snort and try as best as I can to shuffle away from Phil and back into my corner.

Phil groans and my head instantly snaps around. I notice his arm reaching out and I lightly grin. I'm sure that I'll be fine if I go back over to him. If he wakes up, I'll just blame it on my sleep. Yeah...sleep.

I swiftly move back over to Phil and his arms are instantly wrapped around me, pulling me closer to him. I smile down at Phil as he nestles his head into my chest.

He's adorable. I'm not even going to deny it, I think Phil looks adorable in his sleep.

A few minutes pass and Phil begins to tousle around a bit. My eyebrows knit together. Phil quickly lets go of me and spins the other way around.

I frown as I miss the warmth of him next to me. He probably woke up and freaked out when he found himself hugging me so tightly like I was going to disappear.

Phil continues to mumble and tousle around. Maybe he's having a dream...or a nightmare. A dark thought masks over my mind. I really need to wake him up. He must be frightened and terrified.

As an instinct, my arms wrap around his waist and I bring him closer to me and I place my head in the crook of his neck. Staying here forever sounds like a great idea. Phil's so warm next to me and everything just seems perfect.

"Phil." I whisper into his ear, "Phil, wake up."

I move my face away from Phil's and his eyes begin to flutter open. His blue eyes finally show and I lightly smile down at him.

"V-Vicky wh-why would y-you..."

I look down at Phil with a concerned look and his eyes finally focus on his surroundings. His eyes meet mine and I see a small spark before they go back to a dull blue color. Phil sits up and pushes me away, leaving an aching feeling in my chest. Much like the ones I had last night.

"Phil, are you okay?"

"I'm fine." He coldly says and retrieves his shirt from my desk.

"Do you want to talk about?" I ask as Phil pulls the shirt over his head.

He turns around and looks at me with a cold stare, making me coward down, "Does it look like I want to?" He hisses.

"No, I don't know, I just thought-"

"That's the whole thing. You 'just thought'." He says in a mocking voice and grabs his keys and leather jacket before walking out of my room.

I instantly stand up and follow him.

"Leave me alone, Dan." He says and takes a glance at me.

"You're not feeling okay. I really think that we should talk about wha-"

"Look, Dan, you seem really nice but I'm not here for your help or to be your friend. I said that when we met and I still mean it. You and I, are not friends. We are people that are forced to do a project together. One person willingly, one unwillingly. I think it's pretty clear which person is which."

My mouth opens and closes almost as quickly.

"Bye, goldfish." He says and walks out of my house, slamming the door behind him.

What just happened? All I know is that I need to stop these forming tears. They make me look like I'm pathetic. It just doesn't make sense, last night Phil and I were acting like we'd been friends for the longest time. He helped me when I was sad yesterday for Christ's sake.

Why is he acting like this? He acts all buddy-buddy, then, he's a complete jerk out of nowhere. And it's always around me. Why me? Why did I get the friendly and pissy Phil? Why not just friendly? What causes him to be so pissy around me anyway?

I let out a sigh of frustration and punch the wall. I let out a yelp and shake my hand. That was a stupid idea. A very stupid idea.

"Is everything okay?" Jamie appears into the kitchen and turns on the kettle.

"Yeah, everything's fine."

"It's Phil, isn't it?" She asks as she leans against the counter.

"Yeah. How did you...?"

"I heard the whole conversation from my room. You guys are quite loud. He really doesn't seem to like you." She sighs.

"Exactly! It's weird. One second, we're acting like best mates, the next, he's blocking me off and getting all mad."

"Maybe he's hiding something." Jamie says as she pours the hot water into a purple mug.

I tilt my head to the side and contort my face into confusion, "What do you mean?" I ask as Jamie continues to make her tea.

"It depends. Phil could possibly be hiding something but, it's not up to you to find out. He'll tell you if he wants to."

I snort, "I highly doubt that he'll tell me."

"Then it just proves that you're not a person to know." She sips her newly made tea and walks out of the kitchen.

That girl confuses me...a lot. I smile and shake my head, that's one of the reasons why I love her and couldn't ask for a better sister. She's confusing and knows a lot more than you think.

Could Phil really be hiding something? I wonder if I could relate to it considering my past. Would I tell Phil about the me I used to be? Probably not. That's it. I'm sure that when I'm comfortable enough to tell Phil about the old me, he'll tell me what he's hiding. If he's hiding anything, that is. It's just a theory, really.

~

Ok I actually really like this chapter and I'm happy with the direction this book is going now. I may change a few things from the last chapter since some of the occurring events in it made the plot weird...just forget the whole bathroom scene and we'll be good.

Also, chECK OUT THE PHANFICTION CALLED HUMAN ON HERE. IT'S LITERALLY SO AMAZING AND HAS A SUPER DEEP MEANING. FORGET ABOUT THIS AWFUL BOOK AND GO READ IT RIGHT NOW, AND I MEAN RIGHT NOW.

Okay, that's all. -J