Savior ↛ Phan

Chapter 3- Night Emotions

Phil left my house two hours after he fell asleep. I'm not going to lie, I fell asleep as well. I was actually woken up by Phil shuffling off of my bed. He didn't realize I woke up but, he did look over at me with a sad and worried look before walking out.

I feel awful for hitting such a raw nerve for Phil. I honestly hope that he's doing better today. Today's Friday since the school year started on Wednesday...maybe Phil could come over again. If he wants to that is.

I walk into the classroom and slightly frown as I see that Phil isn't here yet. I'm sure he'll show up in a bit. Class doesn't start for another 10 minutes or so.

I sit down on the plastic chair and take out my books from my bag. My eyes stare at the classroom door. Come on Phil, just walk through that door. I don't want to have class without the pessimistic ass. I lightly close my eyes and tilt my head to the side, making my lips a straight line.

Did I just basically say that this class would be awful without Phil? I mean...it is true. This class would be absolutely boring without Phil. I don't know anyone else in here except for a few acquaintances.

I hear a loud thud next to me and my eyes snap open. I snap my head over to where Phil usually sits and see him staring out the window. My smile widens when I see him catch a glimpse at me.

"Hey." I cheerfully say.

No response comes and my smile falters. I thought that we were somewhat friends now after what happened yesterday...

"Phil, about yesterday I-"

"Shut up." He mumbles.

"What?"

"I said, shut up." He snaps, looking over at me with a angered look and his arms crossed.

"Sorry." I whisper and stare at my desk.

In the corner of my eye, I notice Phil looking over at me again with a regretful look. Regretful? Hm, wasn't expecting regretful. More of 'I hate you with a burning passion and I will burn your god damned house down.'

I mean, it's not my fault that Phil curled up next to me. Well...I guess it is with the whole love thing. But it's not like a put a gun to his head and forced him to. I was just the one who triggered the feelings.

I loudly sigh and put my head in my hands. I've been sighing a lot lately...I've been sighing too much. I never sigh, I'm the happy and bubbly Dan. I won't go back to the time when...stop.

I take my head out of my hands and decide to look out of the window again. It usually makes me feel better...usually. I don't know if it'll work this time. I don't think it will. I need to stop these tears and come off as the happy person.

I am happy. I'm not depressed or sad. That's for other people, not me. I bite down hard at my bottom lip and continue to have a war with the tears forming in my eyes.

I've come too far to become unhappy again. Sure, everyone has their bad days but, I haven't had a proper bad day in so long. It's only the first class of the day...I shouldn't be like this already.

My phone in my pocket buzzes and I quickly move my eyes away from the window. I unlock my phone and read the message.

From Phil:

Are you ok?

I look over at him but he doesn't meet my gaze. He just stares at the front of the class as Mrs. Jackson speaks.

To Phil:

...no

I may as well be honest if he wants to help me. I notice Phil's frown growing and my stomach twists a little. Does he actually care about me?