Savior ↛ Phan

Chapter 11- False Hope

"Hey." I whisper with a light smile playing across my face as I walk into the kitchen.

"Hey." Phil says in a monotone voice and stares at his cup of coffee.

I walk over to Phil and make my own coffee, standing closer to him than usual if that's even possible. Phil and I grab for a sugar at the same time, our hands lightly brushing against each other's.

I smile over at Phil but he doesn't look my way. He just puts the sugar in his coffee and makes no acknowledgement to me.

"You okay...?" I cautiously ask, my happiness slowly fading.

"I'm fine." He coldly says.

"Obviously you aren't." I snap at him and furrow my brows together.

"Dan I'm fine." He firmly says.

I scoff and roll my eyes, "Is it about last nigh-"

"Don't."

I flinch and let out a quite whimper, "Sorry." I whisper and look down as I mentally curse myself for getting my hopes up.

"Did you feel...anything?" I cautiously question with fear, squeezing my eyes shut as I await his answer.

Please say yes. All I want is for you to say yes.

"...No." My grasp tightens on the mug to the point that my knuckles turn white.

Well then.

I'm an idiot. I'm a complete and utter idiot. I'm so stupid. How could anyone ever love me? It's almost impossible when I'm just a annoying and bubbly prick. I don't know why but this makes me a little pissed off.

I'm mad at Phil for teasing me.

I'm mad at Phil for messing with my emotions.

I'm mad at my self for letting him control my emotions so easily.

"Good." I finally say and immediately regret my words, "I didn't...feel anything either." I completely look away from Phil now.

"Really?"

"Really. I'm honestly glad that you don't like me. It'd feel awkward, y'know?" I finally look back over at Phil with a almost scared expression.

"Yeah..." He pauses and bites his bottom lip, "Let's just forget about last night. It was a mistake."

You sure do make a lot of mistakes, don't you?

"Sounds good. I'm going to go home now. Tell Jaxon that I say bye when he wakes up."

I quickly rush out of the kitchen and grab my bag, jogging out of the house and down the street.

~

I feel unwanted. I feel unneeded. I thought that I could live easily with the thought of Phil never liking me back.

I was wrong, so very wrong.

We were supposed to become a thing. Not make another awkward moment in our friendship. Why do I even try? There's no point in even trying anymore. Let Phil be Phil.

"Dan, you home?" My sister opens up my bedroom door and peaks her head inside.

"Obviously." I mutter with my arms crossed.

Jamie sighs and walks over to my bed, sitting down on the edge near my feet, "What happened?"

I let out a sound of frustration and run my fingers through my fringe, making it curl, "It's nothing important. I'm just...confused."