Saving Kate

Goodnight.

KATES POV:

This is supposed to be the part where my goodbye speech and tears somehow brought him back to life and made his heart grow 3x's bigger or some stupid crap like that.

But this isn't a book where the boy confesses his dying love for the girl after her father dies and needs a shoulder to cry on or a movie where the mother hears the news and couldn't stand to be without her kids any longer. This is real life and I would rather be anywhere else but reality right now.

"Pull it." 

I say the words with such numbness it didn't even sound like me. It sounded like someone had just turned off their emotions like on Vampire Diaries. At least that show makes me realize there's worse shit to deal with.

As I look up I see Dex with a corn dog in his hand looking at me like I need one. I really don't think the reality of this has hit him yet but honestly I don't think it's quite hit me yet either. As I turn to look at Tyler I just say, "let's go home." And I turn around one last time and look through the window of his room. "Goodbye, I love you." As I mouth that to his window I feel Dex's hand grab mine and I realized I need to be strong. Not just because Dad would want me too, but because Dex needed me too.

As we get to the car the walk was quiet, the drive home was quiet, and for awhile as we were in the house it was quiet. What's there to say? How could you possible talk about video games or drama or even  awkward small talk about the weather or sports? You can't. You just have to sit down and let the recent events sink in.

As I check the time I see it's way past Dex bed time, but I honestly don't want to leave him alone.

"Hey I have an idea!", I try to say my hardest with excitement to make him happy.

"What?", Dex asks   "Well how about me and Tyler get your mattress and my mattress and sleep in the living room and watch movies and play video games all night?"

As I see him get really excited I also see the bags under his eyes and I know he won't even last an hour, but I just want to be with him tonight and be there if needs me. As everything gets set up I hear Dex ask Tyler a question.

"Are you spending the night too?"  As I look at Tyler I see him looking at Dex like he just asked where babies come from.

"Of course he is!", I say to Dex but whisper in Tylers ear, "Just stay for a movie I promise he'll be out before it's over." As I see Tyler smirk I just walk away before he was going to say something he would regret. As we pop in a movie I'm sitting with Tyler on the couch and Dex is on his mattress really into the movie when I honestly can't focus. Our father just died. I've been preparing myself for a month but nothing could've prepared me for it actually happening. When I imagined this I didn't imagine us going home, and acting like nothing ever happened. I just thought we would go home and cry. Then fall asleep and cry some more. But I don't want to cry because Dex will cry and I don't want Dex to cry. So if having a slumber party in the living room will help Dex then I'll have them every night if needed.

As I hear Dex snore I realize he didn't last 40 minutes. As I look at Tyler about to tell him to listen to Dex I could tell something was on his mind. "What?", I ask trying not to sound frustrated but probably failing miserably. 

"I just-I need to know that the second I leave you're not going to break down and cry upstairs all by yourself. If you're going to break down at least let me be here to hold you or just sit here with you, because you are not alone. No matter how much it feels like it you aren't." 

And just like that like he pushed the trigger on a gun;I just grabbed him and cried in his shoulder making sure I wouldn't be too loud for Dex to wake up. He just held me tight and didn't say a word. He just held me. I don't know what happened to the Tyler I used to know, but he is obviously not that guy anymore.

Finally after my breathing started to get slower I started to get tired and I just let him go and stopped crying for what seemed like the sixth time today. Not really sure what to say I just look at him and say,"Thank you. Also I made a huge mascara stain sorry about that." He just laughs and says,"I didn't like this shirt anyway."

As I realize it's close to midnight I walk Tyler to the door. "Are you sure you don't want me stay? I can tell my dad that I'm staying at Kodys."

"No it's okay I'll be fine I have Dex. Thank you though. For everything I mean, you stuck with me through all this and I didn't think you stuck with girls period so thank you."

He just smiles and says," I usually don't stick with girls, but you're special. You're different. Goodnight oh yeah and "kiss" "

As I smile I realize how stupid that was, and I just need to kiss the idiot already. Just not tonight. "Goodnight Tyler."

As I close the door I get in my mattress I look at Dex sound asleep and smile. As I'm about to drift off I feel his hand hold mine and I squeeze it. "Goodnight Dex."

"Goodnight Kate." and that's how we slept.

On the edge of each others beds holding hands.