Harry Potter-
Age: 53
Marital Status: Single? (Maybe not ;P)
Occupation: None. I collect alimony checks from my wife.
Location: Hopefully your bed, hot stuff.
Dream Date: You rub my feet and call me a special snowflake.
Tell us about yourself!- My names Harry Potter. I saved the fucking world. I plan on sleeping with half of the goddamn wizarding world. I know I'm hot. You know you're hot. Let's meet up, baby.
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Harry sat back and admired his masterpiece. He was sure that his status as the old chosen one would make him unsingle! He desperately needed to find a new girlfriend, because Ginny, being the rude/lying/cheating wife she was, had left him for some snooty Vice President of America. His name was Joe Boden, or something. It really made Harry mad to think about though. Harry quickly got up to get a drink because thinking of his meanie ex wife made him thirsty.
"I'm thirsty" Harry said to no one imparticular. He walked over to his sink that was located in the kitchen of his 300 square foot studio apartment that was definitely not located in someone's bed, because he didn't own one. He went to turn on the faucet, but alas, no water came out.
"DAMMIT! I forgot pay my fucking water bill." Harry screamed. He didn't have any money anymore because he thought he would become rich from donations from his Tumblr blog titled: Give me money, I'm Harry freaking Potter." so he quit his job. That's when everything went bad. Ginny left him. He lost his house and had to move into a "studio apartment", which was really just a closet in Ron and Hermione's house.
"Shut up in there!" Hermione yelled. She was really tired of Harry living with them. Harry was tired of her not leaving Ron, he financially stable husband, for him, a broke middle aged man.
"Why don't you make me?" Harry responded, hoping to tempt her into his closet/studio apartment. All Harry got was a smart ass remark about how he had "all that gold in Gringotts and he needs to move". Truth is, he DIDN'T have any money. He had lost it all in a World of Warcraft grambling ring. What a fool he was....
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Harry Potter: The Real Epilouge
Genç Kız EdebiyatıHarry just can't cope with the fact that he's not a special snowflake anymore. What really sucks is the fact that his wife, Ginny, took their kids and ran away with her new Muggle boyfriend, Joe Biden. Harry is all alone and is looking for new love...
