[ thirty one ]
My parents went to the novena, but I was in my bedroom, upset. The way Toni looked when I told him I was in love with James broke my heart. But somewhere in the back of my mind and heart, I was also glad that I was now free to love James. And that made me feel terrible about myself.
As soon as Toni left, I went to my bedroom, no longer in the mood to do anything. The only thing I wanted was to be alone.
I knew that wasn't going to happen when I heard a knock on the front foor. Pushing myself off my bed, I left my room for the first time since Toni left and went to the front door. Through the small holes in the screen door, I saw James was the one standing there under the moonlight. I opened the front door and bit down on my lip,my eyes wouldn't meet his. "Hola, James." I greeted, a bit sadly.
He frowned. "I knew you'd need cheering up when you didn't show up at the novena with your parents, bonita." He informed me, producing a box of chocolates he was hiding behind his back, as well as a basket of our favorite snacks, and a stack of movies. "I brought our favorite things so we can spend the night together."
"I feel so bad about Toni." I said.
He nodded, "I know, Ari. But it had to be done. You and I love each other."
I led him into the house and we went into the livingroom, which had hosted many movie nights when we were children. I let myself fall onto the cushions of the couch while he went to put the first movie in the dvd player. The basket of snacks rested on my lap and I rummaged through it, picking out the one I wanted. There were coca-cola gummies and I pulled the bag open, plopping one into my mouth.
James joined me on the couch and sat down next to me, am arm wrapping around my shoulders. As if by instinct, my head went to rest upon his chest. The movie began to play on the television screen moments later, it was my favorite disney movie, Tangled. I snuggled up to him, taking a deep breath. "Thank you for doing this, mi amor. I really don't know what I would do without you." Had he not showed up to my house, I'd have probably spent the entire night miserable in my room.
When I was with James, nothing else mattered. He was all I needed to be happy. "I can't stand to see you upset. But I know I couldn't prevent it. You have a good heart."
"James," I started. This was as good a time as any to tell him how I was feeling when we broke up two years ago. I felt reassured enough to continue when I felt his face nuzzling into the top of my head. "I want you to forgive me for making you cry that night in Madrid, I..." There was a pause in my words as they became shaken with emotion. "I wanted to marry you. It was my dream to spend the rest of my life with you because you were more than my boyfriend, you were my best friend..."
When he noticed the way my voice made me sound like I was on the brink of tears, he stopped me, "We don't have to talk about this, bonita." He said, his words almost begging me to stop. No doubt he was remembering that night and it hurt him just as much, or more than it did me. "We're starting over, and the bad memories should be left in the past."
But I shook my head. I needed to talk about it. Those fears had been haunting my heart and mind since we broke up. "You didn't deserve what I did to you and I'm surprised you don't hate me after that."
"Never." He shook his head, "I could never hate you. In fact, I sometimes think I love you more than you love me."
And I loved him with all my heart, but I had to agree that James seemed to love me just a little bit more. Maybe too much, or maybe he was just more open to showing his emotions towards me, but it was a love I was willing to accept.
"Will you forgive me?" I asked, my eyes searched for his while my lips found his neck. "I need to hear you say it and mean it."
He chuckled, closing his eyes, "How can I deny you anything when you are this convincing?"
"I love you, mi Jamesito hermoso." My lovely James. I was now back to smiling, my troubles and worries from earlier now dissipated.
My lips came to a stop and I nuzzled my face into the crook of his neck. James didn't complain at my teasing because he knew my boundaries and respected them. He already knew my conditions. If he was hoping to get anything more from me, he would need to marry me.
"I love you more, mi bonita." He said, a smile evident in his tone.
"And you still owe me my polar bear." I teased, poking his chest with my index finger. My eyes momentarily looked to the screen to find we had missed a good fifteen minutes of the movie. I would need to have James re-start it. "Our Palomo Nieves." I reminded him, just like he promised when we were younger.
He chuckled in amusement at my words. Surely he didn't think I would try to hold him to his promise when it was something so ridiculous. "The Zoo of Madrid wouldn't sell me a polar bear." He explained, sounding very pleased with himself and the fact that he had actually tried to make it happen. "The greedy bastards refused, even though I told them I was trying to impress a girl. They said if I really wanted you to see a polar bear, I could just bring you to the zoo. They didn't understand it just isn't the same."
I brought my hands together and laughed, delighted, "I just can't believe you actually tried! Who would actually sell you a polar bear, are you crazy?"
He shrugged, complete seriousness in his words as he told me, "I was desperate. I thought of kidnapping it, but the zoo would have noticed." He said the last part with a frown.
"Stop," I wrapped my arms around my stomach while I laughed at his crazy story. "I'm dying, James."
"So I think I'll just get you one of those white dogs that look like wolves." He concluded with a nod of his head. "And you can pretend its a skinny-mini polar bear."
Once recovered from my fit of laughter, I told him I was okay with the polar bear stuffed animal. But he already had it in his mind that he wanted to adopt a pet. He wanted to get a pure breed from a pet shop, but we then both decided we would adopt one from the animal shelter.
By then, the movie was halfway.
And James was relieved, he was never much into Disney movies. He always complained about how they were too girly and how the actual stories were more violent and gory, and lacked the happy ending that their Disney counterpart had. But that was all part of the fun, making people believe that happy endings happened in real life.
Sometimes they did.
And sometimes...they didn't.
-
sorry if this chap is short and crummy. i gave my old laptop to my sister and ordered a new one for me and it'll supposedly be here tomorrow. so as of now i am laptopless and i have been for about three days.
yeah. anyway i hope you all like the update. i may go to bed now bc im super sleepy. AND THERE ARE LESS AND LESS CHAPTERS FOR THIS STORY TO END. SO STAY TUNED. THANK YOU FOR Reading. it means a lot.
byeee.
-clary xx
