Under her sleeves

Chapter 3//The Person Who Would Take A Bullet For You Is Holding The Gun

A/N: I'm so sorry for all of the time skips in this chapter. I was having a hard time writing it, which is why there are so many.

I wake up to sunlight streaming through the window and into my eyes. I sit up, confused, and look around me. Dresser. Desk. Closet. Comforter. I'm in my room, sitting on my bed. Trying to wipe the sleep from my eyes, I grab my phone from the nightstand.

5 new texts and 2 missed calls. Someone is eager to talk to me. 3 texts and a call from Lillian, and 2 texts and 1 call from an unknown number. I skim over the texts, all 5 telling me to be at L's house by 11 and if I'm late they're going to kill me.

I hop into the shower, scrubbing last night's sleep off of me. I change into leggings, a 5 Seconds of Summer T-shirt, black vans, and tie a black and red flannel around my waist. For hair, I straighten it and put a black beanie on. Putting on loads of bracelets, I grab my keys and close the door. 10:47. Cutting it a little close, but I won't be late.

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I knock on the door and rock back and forth on my feet. There is music playing behind the door and laughter comes closer. Lillian opens the door and smiles. Someone yells her name from inside the house and she drags me along with her towards the sound. Shawn is air drumming and dancing around in L's living room and I hold back a laugh when he turns around with horror.

For the next hour we laugh and dance around. I'm having a pretty good time until Lillians's phone rings. She turns down the music and picks it up. Muttering something, she brings the phone up to her ear.

"Hey. Um, now's not really a good time."

She pauses and sighs. I watch her in confusion. If now isn't a good time, why did she answer in the first place? Shawn looks over at me and I shrug. He smirks devilishly, and leans over to grab my beanie off of my head. My mouth drops open and I tackle him to the ground. It's rude to take a beanie off of someone's perfect straight hair.

We wrestle for a few minutes until Lillian starts yelling into the phone. She doesn't usually yell when she's mad.

"No, I'm busy right now! I don't care what you say! You are not coming over!"

The person on the other side of the phone must have been ranting because L didn't say anything for a few minutes. Shawn and I sit awkwardly on the floor, my beanie now placed back on my head. Lillian sighs and looks at us.

"Fine," she growls into the receiver, and hangs up.

"You guys have to go."

My eyes widen in surprise, but I grab my bag and head to the door. Lillian went to her room and closed the door before I could even say goodbye, so I silently follow Shawn out the door. A Mercedes pulls into the driveway when I reach my car and one of the most despicable people in the world climbs out.

Ashlyn Bendly. The captain of the cheerleader squad. That's who L was talking to on the phone. I can't believe she's hanging out with Ashlyn. Ashlyn glares at me before walking up the path in her 3 inch high heels. I roll my eyes and climb into my car. So my best friend is hanging out with my worst enemy. The person who has been bullying me. The person who made me cut myself in the first place.

Fabulous.

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My phone rings in the seat and I press answer. Shawn's happy voice chirps through the speaker.

"Hey! I was wondering if you wanted to go to the movies today?"

"Um, yeah. I'll meet you there in 5."

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I sit in the movie theater seat, chowing down on movie theater popcorn, when Shawn breaks the silence that had fallen between us.

"What movie did you pick?"

Shawn had made the horrible mistake of letting me buy the movie tickets while he got the snacks. Oh the poor, innocent young boy.

"Paper towns."

He groans and throws his head against the seat. "You did not pick that movie" and much worse came out of his mouth. I laugh and shake my head at the 17 year old who was currently throwing a mini tantrum over a movie.

"Oh come on, just watch it," I say reassuringly, putting my hand on Shawn's shoulder.

"Fine," he grumbles and I remove my hand.

About half way through the movie, Shawn slowly intertwined our fingers together. My breath quickens and I try to force it to slow down. I have been trying to deny my feelings for him. But now I can't help it. Letting my feelings out risks Shawn finding out about what I did.

"Okay I will admit that that was a fairly good movie."

I chuckle and mumble, "It's an even better book."

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I drove home in silence, blaring music. Shawn is the one thing on my mind. I guess I knew I had a crush on him, I was just denying it. It's probably because of me cutting in the past. Shawn would never even want to breathe the same air as me if he found out. Everything in his life is perfect. And everything in mine is...not.

Setting my keys on the counter, I start to make tea. Ever since I was little, tea helped calm me down. Stressed out for an upcoming exam? Tea. Girl drama? Tea. Mad at everything in the world? Tea. It's kind of crazy that a simple thing like tea can calm me down.

I take a sip of the warm drink and my heart starts to beat at a normal pace. Shawn. I need to think seriously about Shawn. He's nice, adorable, a little nerdy, funny, musical. He's just perfect. Okay, I know everyone has their flaws. Mine is my past and my living situation. Also that I tend to find a way to make something terrible out of every situation.

Shawn doesn't seem to have a flaw though. It seems like everything is perfect about him. Like he's never had something go wrong, and everything has been rainbows and unicorns.

A car door slams and my front door opens. Great. My mom is home early. Probably drunk, tired, and ready to yell at me for breathing too loudly. The perks of being her daughter.

I run to the fridge and grab a bottle of magical green stuff before running up the stairs. I hate seeing my mom stumble into the house before getting even more drunk then she was before, and then pass out on the couch the rest of the night.

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"I'm sorry about earlier," Lillian says timidly.

I roll my eyes, thankful that we are on the phone and that she can't see what my facial responses are. I pick at the nail polish on my fingernails, a sudden feeling of anger and a little determination.

"Really?"

"Really. My mom had to come home early, but I tried to te-"

"That doesn't explain why Ashlyn pulled into your driveway as we were leaving," I growl.

Silence. Pure silence. Not even a sigh. I've caught her. L has been hanging out with Ashlyn and now that I know, she has nothing to say. I slowly shake my head even though she can't see me.

"Well," I laugh sarcastically, " Enjoy hanging out with your bestie Ashlyn. It's real nice to find out that the person who said they would take a bullet for you, is holding the gun."

I hang up the phone and start to cry. Not the shoulder-shaking, loud sobbing kind of cry. The kind of cry where you bury your head in something and your stomach hurts.
The kind of cry where you feel like the world is crashing down on top of you and everyone else is going to survive.

A/N: See if you can find the Watercolour Daisies reference! (cough magical green stuff cough)