Under her sleeves

Chapter 14//The funeral

Shawn and I have officially been a couple for 48 hours. And what do I wake up to? The worst and best news in the world. 

I was sleeping in, as the guys and I stayed up until 3 A.M. recording videos, when my phone started to ring. 

"Hello?" I groggily ask. 

"Hello Ms. Watson. I am extremely sorry to inform you that your mother passed away about an hour ago."

What?!?!?!?!

"She's dead?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Thank you for calling. When is the funeral?"

"Tomorrow at 4. Please try to have a nice day Ms. Watson. And if you need anything, please come to the police station and ask for Alex."

And with that, Alex hung up, leaving me with a worsening headache and the slowly diminishing memory of my now dead mother. 

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The boys came in an hour later to find me laying in my bed staring at the ceiling. I know I should be sobbing, but I have no emotion left. 

Shawn sits on the edge of the bed as I start to tell them what happened.

"I got a call from the police station. My mom is dead."

They all mutter apologies and ask if I need anything. I reply with a small "no" and say nothing else. Why am I not sad? I know she is the one who abused me, but she was also my mother. The one who taught me how to ride a bike, and tucked me into bed every night when I was a small child. She loved me once. Before she changed. 

The next day, I wake up with a present on the end of my bed. Why do the guys always do this when there is an opportunity for me to have a new outfit?

I change into the black lace dress and matching black ankle heels that were given to me by the guys. I french braid my hair into a bun (http://goo.gl/P54vEU) and walk down the stairs. The guys are waiting for me in suits with a few tears still staining their cheeks. We all look like a bunch of vampires. None of us have eaten since I told them about the call yesterday. 

We climb into the car and I rest my head on Shawn's shoulder on the car ride. We arrive half an hour early and I sit down in the corner. Several of my family members try to talk to me but I say nothing, and eventually they gave up. 

The funeral was boring, and quite sad. I let loose a few tears, as she was the last person to die on my mom's side of the family. My dad died when I was young, so the only family members who are here are related to my dad. 

I didn't speak during the funeral. I didn't get up to say what a wonderful person she was, because she wasn't. Not for years. We eventually put flowers on her coffin and the funeral was over. 

One day when I was a child, I cried for hours because I was scared of the day when I would lose my mom. She comforted me, and told me that she would always be with me. That I would never fully lose her, even if we were apart for weeks, months, or even years. Now I fear that she will be watching me, making sure the rest of my life sucks.