Under her sleeves

Chapter 5//The last voice

"Gooooooood morning beautiful."

I laugh. "Good morning."

"How would you like to go on a walk with me in the woods?" Shawn says mysteriously through the receiver.

"I think I would love to. As long as you promise not to try to kill me with a chainsaw."

"Deal. Be there in 5 minutes."

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I open my front door to see Shawn smiling back at me. He reaches in and links my fingers with his before pulling me outside. Closing the door behind me, I bound down the stairs after him. We walk for about 30 minutes before Shawn stops at the edge of the woods. He grins before taking off, leaving me staring after him. I shake my head before running after him.

Shawn loops around the trees as he tries to confuse me. I laugh, but then I can't find him. He's disappeared. No footsteps, to laughter. Just silence.

"Shawn?"

I walk around some more when someone comes up from behind me and wraps their arms around my waist. Looking to the side I see a smiling, and blushing, Shawn. I pretend to be mad at him and smack his arm.

"You scared me!"

"Sorry..."

I smile, and link our fingers together again. We walk up a hill and sit on a fallen tree. The sky is beautiful with almost no clouds, I am with the best person in the universe, and I am far away from my awful mother. 

"How's your mom?"

I look back down at Shawn, snapping out of my daydream. I blink for a few seconds, attempting to wrap my brain around what he just asked. 

"Oh," I swallow, "Y-you know, the usual."

He chuckles. "What happened?"

"It's my mother, Shawn, who else would it be?" I snap.

His eyes widen and he mutters, "Someone's on their period..."

"Hey, no uterus, no opinion."

His eyes widen even more, causing me to burst in to a fit of giggles. Shawn laughs and looks at me as I turn my attention back toward the sky. 

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The bell rings and I jump out of my seat. Finally the last day of school. No more bullying for 3 months. Just every day the couch, a tub of ice cream, a spoon, the TV, and me. 3 months of watching Netflix for 9 hours a day while my mom is at work. 

I slam my locker door shut and look around me before running out the door. Toilet paper is covering every square inch of grass outside. I laugh and hop in my car. My phone buzzes in my pocket. 

"Hello?"

"Hey Ella."

"Shawn. What's up?"

"Go home. I'll be there in 20 minutes," Shawn replies shakily. 

I hang up and race home. Something's wrong with Shawn. His voice is shaky and he was quiet all day today. I throw the front door open and run up the stairs to my room. My phone beeps and I turn the screen on. 

Shawn: Are you home yet?

Me: Yeah. Are you here?

No reply. Awesome. I wait, pacing back and forth in my living room when the doorbell rings. I run over and open the door to see a teary-eyed Shawn looking back at me. Saying nothing I pull him into a hug. A sob escapes him and he buries his head into the crook of my neck. 

"Shawn. What's wrong?"

He pulls away and looks at me with sad eyes. I sit down on the couch and he follows. 

"Tell me what's wrong."

"I'm leaving."

"What?"

My heart breaks, and my ribs shatter. So this is what it feels like to have your heart break. Finding out that the one person in the world who actually makes you happy is leaving, sucks. 

Shawn takes a deep breath before he continues. "I have been posting YouTube videos and vines of me singing since last year. I got a call a few months ago from Andrew Gertler a few months ago, and he asked me to join Island Records. I did, and I get to go write songs with professionals."

His sobs echo through the room as a few tears escape my eyes. I push past the sadness and put on a smile. 

"Shawn, that's awesome! You'll get to pursue your dream, and write music."

Shawn looks up and his eyes are red and puffy from crying. I lean forward and kiss him on the cheek. He blushes, despite the tears streaming down his face. 

"But...I'll be away from you. For 6 months, then I get a break and get to come back home."

I smile and look at him sadly. "I'll be okay. This is a great opportunity for you, okay? Don't miss it because of me."

Shawn smiles and takes my hand, playing with my fingers. 

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*a month later*

I hug Shawn one last time, trying not to let a Niagara Falls come out in public. 

"I'll face time you everyday, and I promise I'll be the last voice you hear every night, okay? I love you."

I start to cry, but I manage to choke out a barely audible "I love you too" back. Shawn smiles sadly and walks away toward the gate. I fall into the arms of one of Shawn's friends and start to sob. A chest-shaking sob, and I don't know if I will ever stop crying. 

The next 4 hours fly by, and I cried every second of it. The next 6 months I will be talking to the best person in the universe through a screen, and won't be able to see him until he comes back. I sob again, and bury my face in my comforter. I don't think I'm going to be able to survive the next 6 months.