Under her sleeves

Chapter 8//All of the Stars

It has been a month since Shawn came home. He's changed. He's almost always writing or playing guitar. I join him sometimes, as Lillian taught me some chords, but most of the time we leave him alone. Shawn told us today at breakfast that in a few weeks he was going to have to go back to the studio to continue writing. He gets a 2 month break and then he has to go back after being gone for 6 months. Great.

"I missed you."

"I know, you've told me that everyday since you got back."

Shawn and I were sitting on the back porch, curled up on a loveseat. My head was on his shoulder and it was freezing. He said he didn't want to go back. I didn't want him to either, but it's the way the world is. Taking someone you love and then giving them back to you for small periods of time. 

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Shawn has to leave again. The last 3 weeks went by too fast. We didn't go to the airport with him because paparazzi has started to recognize my face and asks questions. I'm now known as the mystery girl. 

A few weeks after Shawn left, I get a text. 

Open up YouTube and look at my channel. Love you <3 

I hesitantly open up YouTube and click on the newest video. 

"Hey guys, it's Shawn and today I am going to be doing a cover of All of the Stars by Ed Sheeran. I had to leave someone I love again a few weeks ago. When you watch this, I want you to know that I love you and miss you so much, and I will be home soon. I promise."

By now I'm already crying and I cry even more when Shawn starts to sing. I scroll down and look at the comments. 

Omg Shawn ur so sweet I hope the person u love realizes how special u are and loves u the same way

Whoever Shawn is talking about is sooooo lucky

I bet u she's pretty

I smile and scroll back up to watch the rest of Shawn's video. I can't believe he did this. Shawn took the time away from the studio to record this video. Grabbing my phone from the floor, I text Shawn and thank him. 

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School has gotten worse. Since the kids have started to realize that I'm friends with Shawn Mendes, the bullying has increased. Every day is a struggle, and everyone knows it. 

I stare at the test in front of me. A pop quiz in math is not good, especially when you completely forgot about what you learned in class the day before. I bubble in the first answer and glance at the next question. You know what, who cares. I guess on the rest of the questions and turn my paper in. On the way back, Lillian trips me and I fall. You know how in the movies when someone falls, everyone in the class points and laughs? It was like that. Including the teacher.

Tears stream out of my eye and I run out of the classroom. I've never known what it was like to run down the hallways when class was in session. But now I do. Except for me not being able to see due to fact that I'm crying. 

Thankfully the boys aren't home. Some are at school, the others are at work. I throw the bathroom door open and sink to the floor. Breakdowns are the worst. Taking deep breaths doesn't work, and I'm dizzy. I reach up and open one of the cabinets. I promised Shawn that I would never do this again, but the pain has become too much. 

1. 2. 3. 4. My breaths become more even. 5. 6. 7. 8. The numbers get higher until I can't count anymore. I hear footsteps downstairs and I don't care anymore. The room spins and someone opens the door. 

"Oh my god."

I try to see who it is but I can't. My vision is too blurry. The person wraps my wrist up with what I think is a towel. Black spots twinkle in the corners of my eyes until everything is black and I can't see or hear anything. I only feel something dripping off of my wrist and the pounding heart of the person carrying me. 

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Ok please don't kill me for doing this...don't worry she is okay, I would not kill Ella. But wait until you find out who was carrying her...