Under her sleeves

Chapter 9//I'll visit, okay?

I wake up surrounded by white sheets. A machine beeps quietly next to the bed and I slowly open my eyes. A tube is buried on the inside of my right wrist and is connected to a bag full of clear liquid. A nurse is checking the data on the screens and looks over when I try to sit up.

"You better lay back down Ella. You lost a lot of blood. I'll go get your friends, they told me to tell them when you woke up."

The nurse walks out, shutting the door quietly behind her. A few minutes later all of the guys including Shawn rush in. They all sigh in relief and hug me, careful around my wrists. Shawn has tears in his eyes.

"I'm so glad you're okay," he whispers.

The boys nod in agreement. I smile and thank them. Apparently, they never left the hospital. They have been sleeping in the waiting room and have only gotten up to eat, use the bathroom, and freshen up.

I peek down at my wrist. It's wrapped in thick layers of gauze, and a little blood is peeking through in some spots. Shawn holds my hand and the rest of the boys crowd around the bed.

"You look awful Ella," Aaron jokes.

I laugh, grateful for his sense of humor right now. Even with what happened, he is still joking around. Shawn glares at him, and turns back toward me with a small, sad smile.

"What are you doing back?" I ask.

Shawn's eyes fill up with more tears. "One of the boys called me and told me that you had a break down and I got on the next flight here in less than an hour."

"Who found me?"

The boys look at each other and some shake their heads.

"I did."

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I look at the door. This is not happening.

"You did?"

Lillian walks cautiously into the room.

"I wanted to say hi. The front door was open and when I called your name no one answered. Then I went upstairs and I found -" she hesitated, a few tears streaming down her cheeks. "I found you in the bathroom."

Hatred bubbles inside of me. So now she wants to stop by and have a friendly little chat? After she's the reason I had a breakdown in the first place?

"I think you should go," Cam suggests, guiding her toward the door.

She stops him, trying to argue, but he pushes her out and closes the door behind her. The boys and I talk for a few more minutes before a nurse comes in to tell them that I need rest and that they can visit later. I close my eyes and try to fall asleep while listening to the quickening beat of my heart.

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I found out that I don't get to go home yet. I have to go to a hospital for a few weeks until I'm "mentally stable". That's what the nurse said. So I'm assuming I have "unstable" on my medical files. Isn't that awesome?

I sit in the passenger seat, feeling the eyes of the nurse on me. Shawn was allowed to drive me to the hospital I would be staying at, but a nurse had to come with. Going home to pack the things I would need was awful. The boys stayed on my bed and watched me with sad eyes the whole time. 

We arrive at the hospital and I look up. People are outside in a fenced-in area. Some are sitting or laying in the grass, others are sitting on benches and talking to other patients and nurses. It was worse inside. 

People were shuffling about, and the nurse led us to a check-in center with numerous desks behind the counter top. I zone out and don't listen to their conversation. It's the same thing every time someone asks who I am, what is my condition, what happened, etc. 

Shawn tugs my arm and I look up at him, slowly coming back to reality. 

"I have to go," he whispers, tears brimming in his eyes, "but I'll visit, okay? I promise. And I love you." 

Shawn kisses my forehead and a tear falls down my cheek. It's bad enough Shawn was gone for over 6 months, but then I had a breakdown and know they're taking him away from me again.