Twilight Imagines

46. Lose My Mind (Edward Cullen)

(Published December 12, 2025) 

   Raindrops fell on my head as I sat on the damp grass outside of the school.  I stared at the textbook in my grasp, watching as tiny droplets speckled the page.  It hadn't been raining when I had snuck out here to avoid the lunch crowd.  With a sigh, I closed the book and hugged it to my chest.  I wasn't ready to go back inside yet.  Not with all of those people.  Laughing highschoolers eating crappy food and planning the prom loudly with their friends.  That wasn't really my scene.  
   Turning my face to the sky, I traced the dark clouds in my mind.  There wasn't much for shapes up there today, but the few fluffy edges that I could make out comforted me.  I loved clouds, and the dark ominous rain clouds that covered the sky today fit my mood perfectly.  
   Suddenly, a figure entered my peripheral vision.  I glanced over at it only to find the last person I had expected to see: Edward Cullen.  He was standing a few yards away, watching me with those curious golden eyes.  His hands were stuffed casually in his pockets and he was holding surprisingly still.  I quickly turned my gaze away, hoping maybe he'd decide I wasn't worth his time and leave.  I didn't want to talk right now, especially not with a guy who thought he was better than everyone else in the school.  
   Luck didn't seem to be on my side, though.  In less than a minute, he was walking up beside me and settling down on the damp grass to my left.  I kept my eyes on the sky, debating on whether or not it was completely rude to just ignore him.  I had been here first, so technically I hadn't sought out company and shouldn't be required to participate in conversation, right?  Or wrong?  I really didn't know how to deal with people when I was in this kind of mood.  
  Out of the corner of my eye, I watched him pluck a grass leaf from the earth and twirl it between his long, pale fingers.  He was extremely pale, almost to the point where you could call it 'deathly pale'.  I wondered if his blood circulation didn't work well or if he just avoided all sunlight in order to achieve such a look.  I shifted my eyes back to the dark clouds above, not wanting to think about him this much.  I didn't like him enough for that.  
   "You should think about going back inside soon," His melodical voice broke the silence in a surprisingly smooth manner.  "The rain is about to get worse." 
   I bit the inside of my cheek.  I didn't want it to get worse.  I didn't want to go back inside just yet.  There was still fifteen minutes left to lunch and that was way too long to spend amongst the noisy crowds wandering the school halls.  
   Edward stood, holding out one frighteningly pale hand in my direction as he moved to stand in front of me.  I stared at it for a long minute, my eyebrows falling slightly in a ghost of a frown.  Was he trying to pressure me into going inside?  Or was he simply trying to be a gentleman and I was being rude again?  I bit the inside of my cheek again, thinking way too hard about such a casual gesture.  
   To my surprise, an amused smile graced his pale lips.  "You're going to get soaked if you stay out here." 
   "How do you know?" I glanced up at the sky that was just as dark as it had been a minute ago.  "Are you a meteorologist intern or something?" 
   "No, I just have an extremely perceptive sister who has a knack for knowing the coming weather," He said with a small laugh.  
   "Ah." 
   Slowly, I slid my hand into his cold palm and let him help me to my feet.  I quickly took my hand back, brushing off the back of my pants with my hand to clear any grass blades that might be stuck there.  He waited instead of walking towards the school like I had hoped he would.  Okay, fine, I guess I was walking up with him.  Why did he have to play the gentleman card so diligently?  
   "So you were studying for English?" He asked casually.  
   I peeked down at the book in my grasp to confirm that's what he was talking about.  It was.  "Kind of." 
   "What do you think of the new chapter?  I prefer Shakespeare's dramas, personally." He stuffed his hands back into the pockets of his grey jacket that was now turning more of a charcoal thanks to the sprinkling rain.  
   "I like 'A Midsummer's Night Dream'," I stated softly.  But why?  Why did he need to know that?  "Why are you talking to me?" 
   He chuckled lightly.  "Why wouldn't I talk to you?" 
   Because you typically don't talk to anyone outside of your family for one?  Because I'm the outcast emo girl who wears wrinkled band t-shirts that clash with your usual style?  "Because you don't have to." 
   "I don't have to play piano, either, but I still do." He glanced over at me and gave a small nod.  "I like your shirt." 
   I glanced down to check which one I had thrown on in my hurry to get to school today.  It was my dad's old Tears for Fears t-shirt that he had given to me when he realized that he'd never be able to fit into it again.  I turned a disbelieving eye on Edward.  
   "You like Tears for Fears?" I asked skeptically.  
   "I like their hit song," He admitted.  "I don't know any of their other songs, to be honest." 
   "You're missin' out," I mumbled, clutching my book closer to my chest as we reached the door to the cafeteria.  
   He had been right; just as we were walking up to the cafeteria, the rain picked up and began pounding on the dirt behind us.  I looked out at the huge drops for a minute, wondering how his sister had known it was going to rain.  Then again, I probably didn't want to know.  
   Turning to face the crowded and noisy room, I found Edward standing beside an empty table.  He gestured to a chair, as if he wanted me to join him.  I hesitated.  I didn't want to sit with Edward.  Rumors would fly and I'd be known as the loser that Edward Cullen was preying upon.  Still, there weren't any other empty tables and I had already been rude enough to him.  Might as well take him up on this offer.  
   "So, you play the piano," I commented as I slid into the chair.  
   "I do."  He took a the chair beside me and rested his elbows on the table.  "Do you play an instrument?" 
   "No."  The three chords I knew on my guitar didn't count as playing an instrument, right?  
   "You should learn to.  You clearly like music," He gestured to my shirt.  "You might even like to play." 
   Probably, but my tiny fingers didn't stretch across guitar frets very easily.  Chewing on my cheek, I glanced nervously around the cafeteria.  Yep, we were definitely getting some weird looks.  Just what I needed.  
   "You really shouldn't worry about their opinions, you know," Edward stated. 
   I turned my gaze back to him, giving him a questioning look.  What was he, a mind reader?  
   His mouth quirked up at one corner.  "They already think you're weird, so hanging out with me isn't going to affect your reputation at all." 
   "High school reputations are dumb anyway," I mumbled, wishing I had something smart or clever to say.  Not that I wanted to impress Edward Cullen, but maybe I could impress myself for once.  My social skills were awful, so saying something smart would be a miracle for me.  
   "They are," He agreed with me.  "Take you for example." 
   Oh, please don't, I begged silently.  
   He grinned at me before continuing.  "You dress in dark colors and act like a wallflower, but it's just a front.  I have a feeling that inside you is a smart, funny, sarcastic girl just waiting to bust out of this cocoon you've created.  And someday, you're going to shine and blow us all away."  
   I stared at him for a long moment.  Did he seriously just say that to me?  There was nothing in the world I hated more than motivational speeches (due to the fact that most of them were lies that people spew at each other to avoid giving real, harsh but helpful advice), but I sure recognized one when I heard it.  Problem was, that was one of the last things I expected to hear from a Cullen.  So why?  Was he toying with me?  Or did he think I actually needed an ego boost?  Either way, this whole thing just got really, really weird.  
   Leaning towards me, he lowered his voice to prevent eavesdropping.  "I know you despise motivational speeches.  I was just picking on you." 
   Surreal.  That was the only word for it.  Here I was, staring at a grinning Edward Cullen and finding myself truly believing that he could read my mind.  It was the only logical explanation!  
   "Actually, there are several logical explanations," He murmured with a twinkle of mischief in his eye.  
   "It's finally happening," I whispered, leaning back in my seat.  "I'm gonna lose my mind." 
   He chuckled.  "Not a chance.  Remember that smart, sarcastic girl I was talking about?  She's not going anywhere." 
   "So why me?  Why are you revealing it to me?" He knew I was talking about his ability, so I didn't have to spell it out and risk eavesdroppers learning his secret.  
   "Because I like your mind," He explained softly.  
   Odd way to word it, but okay.  "Oh?" 
   He nodded.  "I like the way you think and the conversations you have with yourself.  You're very entertaining, Cynthia." 
   Entertaining...  Well, at least my brain was good for something!  
   "Can we be friends?" He asked with a low chuckle.  
   I shrugged.  "I'm not good at friendships.  I don't communicate well." 
   "I know." His grin was a little disconcerting.  
   Shrugging again, I nodded twice.  
   "So this doesn't weird you out at all?" He asked, folding his hands on the table top as his honey colored eyes bored into mine.  
   I gazed back as I pondered the question.  Did it?  I mean, it was kind of odd and it was definitely a huge invasion of privacy.  On the other hand, I didn't have any secrets to hide, so was it that big of a deal?  Plus, I didn't have any other friends.  Going home from school today with the news that I made a friend would make my mom jump for joy.  
   "No," I finally answered.  
   His grin returned.  "Good.  Do you want to hang out after school?" 
   No!  What part of 'anti-social' did he miss from my entire being?  Oof, wait, he was reading my mind and that probably wasn't the nicest way to respond.  Uh, that would be too much social interaction?  Not much better.  Thanks for the offer, maybe another time?  I watched as his grin widened while he listened into my brain.  Okay, so maybe this was kinda weird.  Maybe I really was losing my mind!  What was wrong with me?  I should be running way!  Fleeing like an Ewok escaping a burning tree.  
   "No thank you," I managed to blurt out.  
   Thankfully, the bell rang at that exact moment.  
   "Maybe another time.  See you in Calculus," He replied jovially.  
   He stood and headed off towards his next class, leaving me frozen in my seat.  My brain was still reeling, unable to fully comprehend what had just happened.  Or why.  
   "Hi Cynthia!  See you at the beach on Saturday," Alice Cullen called out as she flitted past my table with Jasper in tow.  
   I stared after her with wide eyes.  Saturday?  Beach??  What did she know that I didn't?  And why was the whole family suddenly acting like I was their new best friend?  
   "This must be what going mad feels like," I mused aloud.