Niall's Princesses

Chapter 17 - I Didn't Mean It

AN - Another update! I'm making up for not updating for ages when I said I would update more frequently. This chapter is just sort of a filler chapter until some more happens in the next one. There's only going to be a couple more chapters before it ends! Please listen to the song that goes with this chapter (Six Degrees Of Separation by The Script). Also I've dedicated this chapter to my friend because her story is amazing, I made her cover for her and she put up with me complaining about what to write while I was writing this so go and read her story!

Niall’s P.O.V

It had been three days since the fight with Rebecca. She still hadn’t called about me seeing the girls and that hurt. I knew I had hurt her too though and no one can understand how much I regret that. I regretted it from the moment the anger left me. I thought I was just beginning to win her back and then it all went wrong. Everything I thought was going to be perfect had fallen apart around me, things had gone so wrong and it was all because of a moment of rage.

I couldn’t bear this anymore, I know she hasn’t replied to any of my messages so far but I needed to try and get her to listen to me. I needed her to forgive me. I needed her to understand I didn’t mean anything I said. I tried calling her but like what had happened all the previous times, she didn’t answer. This time instead of just hanging up and trying again later I decided to leave her a message in the hope that she might then listen to me and understand why I did it.

“Rebecca I know you probably won’t listen to all of this but please do.” I said and paused for a moment before continuing, “I didn’t mean anything I said to you - you and the girls are the most important things in my life; I never meant to hurt them or you. I was just so desperate to get everything to be perfect with us. I wanted us to be a happy family and I guess that didn’t go to plan. God I fucked up so bad didn’t I. I just wanted things to be good between us and I made it all go horribly wrong.” I said realising it was my entire fault that we were in this situation. I ran my hand through my hair before speaking again, “I was jealous, that’s what it was, I didn’t like the fact that Harry knew about Lillie and Annabelle and I didn’t. That’s the only excuse I have and I know it’s a terrible one but it’s the only reason I can give as to why I did it. Please just call me back. I want to make everything better, I have no idea how I’m planning on doing that but I want to, I want to make things good between us again. I want you three in my life, forever.” I said and took a deep breath. “Bye” I said quietly and hung up before throwing the phone down next to me. Why did I always have to mess everything up, I always do it, why can’t I just learn to deal with stuff without ending up in a fight.

You’re so fucking stupid Niall. I thought to myself and it was true. I just came along into people’s lives screwing everything up. I need to learn to think things through before going and shouting things at people. I just had to hope Rebecca would give me another chance.

Rebecca’s P.O.V

I heard my phone ring again. Like every time before I checked the caller ID and then left it. After everything he still wanted to come crawling back into our lives. He didn’t even deserve these girls. I can’t believe he would be so selfish. A few minutes later my phone buzzed again and told me I had a voice message. I knew who it would be from. I contemplated about listening to it and left it for now. I was still mad at him after the other day so didn’t want to think about listening to it and starting up another argument. It just wasn’t worth it.

The girls had just about fallen asleep when I grabbed my phone. Was this really a smart idea? I dialed the voice mail number and waited as the automated message talked about the different options to press for whatever it was I wanted. I pressed 1 and waited for the message to play. I started listening to it and everything else seemed to stand still as his voice played in my ear.

-Flashback-

I laid in bed in the pitch black. Everyone else was asleep and here I was with my phone to my ear and tears staining my cheeks. I hated this; I hated being away from him. Niall had called last night when I was asleep but it was midday for him and left a message. I kept replaying it in my ear, the sound of his voice calming me but also the cause of the tears flooding down my face. I just wanted to be back with him and not on other sides of the world.

“I guess you’re sleeping at the moment, I kind of forgot about time differences. Sorry! Anyway, I’ll just leave you a message for when you wake up. I hope you have a lovely day and sleep tight, only 37 days! I love you” It played and then the message cut off, just like it had the last about 70 times I had played it since this morning. I thought about playing it again but instead I just put my phone back down and turned over to try and get some sleep.

-End of Flashback-

I listened to the message, hanging onto every word he said. I didn’t even know how I was meant to react to this. Was it wrong for me to still be mad at him even after he let me know why he did it? Was it wrong for me to immediately forgive him after everything? I honestly had no idea what to do anymore; am I meant to trust him or not?

That night, I fell asleep on the sofa with the phone still clutched in my hand. I must’ve just fallen asleep midway through my thoughts and that was it, thoughts still running through my head, going round and round again.