Fall Into Me

..XVI..

Finding out what food she liked and didn't like was a journey, but Mona had found she had a love for fruits and pancakes. This morning, she decided she was going to try the blueberries, putting a small amount on her plate alongside raspberries, strawberries and blackberries. There was a clatter and a swear word behind her, which she ignored as she grabbed three pancakes and made a coffee.

As an afterthought, she made a black one, intending to give it to Minerva when she came back from seeing Helena. The past few nights with Minerva had been so lovely, and they both had the rest they'd been needing. Mona was glad Minerva had decided to keep staying in the bedroom, she would've cried if she hadn't.

When she came to the table, she found Vivienne, Diana and Theo all staring at her in shock. Esme wasn't at the table, instead staring out at the ocean, gripping the railing so hard her knuckles were visible. Vivienne, to her credit, caught the horror on Diana and Theo's faces and immediately diverted the conversation.

"You're eating," she nodded towards Mona's plate, "that is very good." Mona nodded as she sat down, giving unsure looks to the other three. "Don't mind them," Vivienne said, "they're being rude."

"Rude!" Esme hissed out, turning to give Vivienne a side glare. "Did you not see-,"

"Oui, and your anger can wait for later. You two," she leaned over and flicked both Theo and Diana's noses, "pack it in." Mona tilted her head in confusion as they both rubbed at their noses, Diana glaring at Vivienne in offence.

"That hurt!" She protested.

"And you're being hurtful," Vivienne said sternly, "enough now, all of you. Look past your own feelings and think about Mona and how your reactions are making her feel." That seemed to snap sense into all of them, Esme returning from the railing, though her jaw was tense and there was a burning fire in her eyes. Mona still didn't know what was going on, frowning as she thought about it.

Then it clicked, the piece falling into place in her mind, the information tumbling into her brain. Mona was only wearing a sports bra and shorts, the scarring on her back visible. She hadn't shown them her back before, she'd been too worried, too uncomfortable, too insecure. The memory from yesterday surfaced, of Minerva's kisses and her wonderfully soft words when she'd seen Mona's back and Mona smiled a little. She had no reason to hide her scars anymore, they were part of her, a part of what she'd gone through, her proof of survival. She might not quite remember what it was that she'd survived, but she wasn't going to be ashamed of her proof anymore.

Mona scooped some blueberries into her mouth, and as the mushy fruit broke down under her teeth, she scrunched up her face, grabbed a tissue and spat it out. Blueberries she did not like at all. Swishing her mouth out with coffee, she looked up at the others.

"My back," she started, "I don't remember how it happened in detail, but I do know it was bad. They don't bother me anymore though, so it's okay to look at them."

"You don't have to explain yourself," Vivienne said firmly.

"I know, but I want to," Mona told her. Before she could say anything more, Minerva came outside, rubbing the sleep from her inner corners. It took her a few seconds to realise that Mona had her back out in the open and when she did, she short circuited, eyes flying to the others and words stuck in her throat.

"It's okay," Mona told her gently, "I wanted to tell you before, but I couldn't talk. You rewrote the memories. I remember you kissing them and touching them, I remember you being really upset over what had happened. I don't look at them and feel pain or fear anymore, it's just... normal. I kind of like 'em, actually."

"Oh," Minerva didn't seem certain, "I rewrote the memory?" Something was off with her that morning, but Mona couldn't pin point it. Minerva still looked like it hurt to breathe, she still held herself at awkward angles, her movements were slow and lethargic, blinks slow and eyes unfocused. Everything was how it had been for days, but at the some time nothing was.