Audiotapes - Lilourry AU

4. Circles

brief mention of child abuse and gender identity shaming...and louis refers to the character as 'him' even though they are actually a 'she' now, but in the next chapter he'll explain the reasoning behind that, so don't you worry.

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Liam felt like he wasn't making any progress, as if he was just going around in circles. He wanted answers so bad. He even thought of the idea to search for an obituary, but he was refraining himself from doing that. He wanted to learn about Louis before he went to see if he was actually dead.

He found his old stereo to listen to the audio tape, he didn't know what was in store for him, and he really didn't want to find out. But, he had to.

"Hello again, I know what you're thinking, why DVD's and audiotapes? Well, I figured with this I could record some things with out people knowing. It's a great plan, well at least I hope. So, here a bit of a snippet of why my mother hates me. And it's seriously the worst thing in the world."

There was some rustling heard and a few whispers from Louis, "What do you want?" A woman's voice is heard, and it sounds like she's mad for some reason.

"I wanted to ask you if you would let me go see dad?" Louis asked in a whisper, almost too quiet for the tape to pick it up.

"Why would you want to go see that freak?"

"Because I miss him, he's my father!"

"But you're the fucking reason why he left me! If you didn't go and open up your big fat mouth your father would still be here! He'd still a fucking man but you had to go and make him have this realization to come clean!"

"That was not my fault! He knew this whole fucking time that I was gay and he never said anything, especially to you! He waited until he came clean with myself before he came out, and still then it took him six months to come clean!"

"Don't you dare raise your voice to me, how dare you." A loud smack was heard and a whimper coming from Louis, "You are not allowed to see your father or I will ship you off to school in the Netherlands."

The tape ended there and Liam was shocked, how could someone even think of hitting their own son? Just because her husband decided to come clean after Louis did doesn't mean that it's his fucking fault. His own son gave him the courage to come out, and that should be applauded, not frowned upon.

Liam rewound the tape, so if he did need evidence of the reason why Louis committed suicide they could just listen to it. He sighed as he went to get the other note and he read it slowly.

If you're reading this, I guess you haven't grown tired of me yet? Well, I hope not.

So, I guess you listened to the audiotape? I'll explain all of that in the next video because it's better to have me explain it in words rather than trying to write it down. It's really stupid to be honest. But, she's my mother and what ever she says goes.

I just wish that everything was different, that I wouldn't be writing this as a call for help.

Just for future reference, the only time I will have an audiotape is for proof of something that no one else believes. So, I think there will only be a few, seeing as I only want to do at least ten videos. The videos will be much longer as I get into the swing of things and these letters much smaller. I want you to see how I change, not imagine, want you to see me. I don't even like writing letters, but here I am writing to someone I may actually never meet.

Anyways, something happened today, something big. It involves my best friend, but I'll tell you in the video because it's just that big. I know, you're probably screaming at me for all these holes in this letter, but stick around and you'll see.

Still alive, but barely breathing.

Louis x.

Liam groaned, "Why can't he ever catch a break?!" He started to go for the next dvd when something caught his eye. It was another a stack of photographs, and it intrigued him to no end.

A sticky note was covering the first photo, "Look at these when you need to smile x."

Liam decided to look at just one, and he was happy that he did. It was of Louis when he was around ten, smiling wide as his father smeared icing all over his face. It looked to be around Christmas time, so maybe Louis' birthday was in December. Liam smiled at the picture, how it effortlessly depicted Louis genuinely happy. You could see that it wasn't force, it was real. Liam smiled and he left the photo out, leaving the rest for when he starts to dig deeper.

He decided to put in the next dvd, and he sat back on the couch and boy he wasn't expecting Louis to look like that. His eye was black and blue and you could see the hand print on his face. He looked dead, emotionless, like he didn't even care anymore.

"I guess it's safe to say my time here is limited."