Audiotapes - Lilourry AU

5. Limited

brief mention of abuse, gender identity shaming, assault, mpreg, and suicide.

read at own risk.

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To say that Liam was a bit startled to hear that come out of Louis' lips was a bit of an understatement, now if you said that Liam paused the video and rewound it five times to make sure he heard it right, you'd be spot on.

"I guess it's safe to say my time here is limited," Louis mumbled as he wiped away his tears that were falling down his face, "Fuck, I told myself I wouldn't cry, but here I am crying." Louis reach around the camera and grabbed a tissue to blow his nose, "Sorry, it's been a rough couple days, terrible actually. I don't even know where to start to be honest, maybe the reason why my mother hates me? Yeah, I'll start with that."

Louis took in a breath and let it out slowly to calm himself down, wiping his eyes with his sweater, he finally spoke, "So, about two years ago I had finally come clean to my family about me being gay. My father took me into his arms and told me that he was proud of me for being true to myself, it was the happiest moment of my life, but my mother didn't take it very well. She stood quiet, it was as if she was refraining from doing something to me because of how my father took it. She never showed any emotion for it, and then a couple hours later was when I realized why. Throughout the house you heard her screaming with my father about me. Saying I was an abomination, and the devil's child, it hurt me to no end that she thought of me like that. She even yelled to my father to have me go to this camp to fix me," Louis had used the air quotes around 'fix me', because honestly there was nothing to be fixed, "But, my father wasn't having any of it. He actually threatened to leave with me that night if she didn't go into my room and tell me she loved me. She was so shaken when she came in and I could hear the lack of emotion, the lie in her voice. She never really cared about me, saying I was some drunken accident that she didn't even want to keep. But, I accepted it seeing as I was a little younger and naive than what I am now."

Louis looked down on his lap and continued talking, "What happened six months later would mark when my life started to become a living hell. My father had gotten all of us into the kitchen and told us that he wasn't comfortable in his own skin. Seeing as I knew what he was talking about, I knew what was coming, but my mother didn't. She told him to repeat it so many times before he started screaming, "What do you mean you want to be a woman?" "Do you not love me enough to stay a man?" And the list could go on and on. I just sat there waiting for them to stop arguing, my younger siblings not understanding what's happening just left the kitchen to go watch cartoons and that's when it all happened."

"She yelled so loud that the next country could hear her, "It was you! It's all your fucking fault he's like this! If only you had kept your big fat mouth shut he'd still want to be with me!" My father looking at her and he was fuming, "Don't you fucking dare put the blame of this on him, I've always never been comfortable in my skin, there was always something missing. He only gave me the courage to come clean. I've been living in the darkness for far too long and I figured since he can come clean then so can I. And seriously, when did I tell you I didn't want to be with you?" Louis sighed before he continued to recite everything off of memory, "My mother had actually started laughing before she said, "You honestly think I'll stay with a freak like you? You are to get your things out of this house by tomorrow when I get home from work or I will burn it all." My father was so angry with her, but he knew that if he didn't leave she'd probably do something to me. So, that was the last time I saw him in our house, he left a couple hours later. My mother filed for a divorce and asked for full custody, and she was granted it."