The bad days are bad, but it's the good days that hit you. You learn a new trick, buy a new thing, or experience something great, and you turn to share it with them only to be met with space. They are no longer there. They no longer hold space in your life. And that's when you realize that you feel alone. Now, you have to fill that space with yourself. I don't know if I'm that big, but I have to be. He accepted everything about me. He understood me. He learned me. It was scary and time-consuming. I don't want to do that again. I miss him. I miss waiting for him to call or hear his truck pull up. I miss anticipating his knock at my door. I miss his laughter. I miss how he made me laugh. I miss how I never got tired of him even when I was tired of him. I miss that companionship. I know I'm not alone, but that space he left is consuming. I just want the sadness to end. I want to look and not look for him. I want to listen and not hear his voice. I want to rest and not feel his arms around me. I want to feel whole again. I want to live for myself again. But I've now felt what it is to live with someone else, and I don't want to go back.
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Unsheathed Heart
PoetrySome wisdom you must learn through the heart rather than the mind. Unsaid thoughts and unspoken feelings. A book of unspoken ideas that I was either too smart to say or too ignorant and weak to utter.
