Rebel Girl

40} Happy Partings Are For TV Families

© Amber Kalkes 2015

Song: "Bull In The Heather" By Sonic Youth

Chapter Forty: Happy Partings Are For TV Families

The sound of my own sneakers scrapping against the hospital carpet is the only thing keeping me together at this point. I've been counting my steps as I pace as a way of keeping focused on something other than my impending task. I think I'm up to one hundred and something. I stop walking for a moment and frown down at my shoes. Damn it! I lost count.

"Can you sit down?" Lou sighs tiredly, "You're making me anxious just watching you."

I turn to look at Lou and take him in. He's dressed in a pair of dark jeans, a black t-shirt and one of his plaid button up with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Under his dark sunglasses, which he's still wearing for some reason, I know he's looking at me. I kept him up much of the night with my tossing and turning. I could barely sleep for longer than a few hours at a time, just running through the scenarios in my head about how this would go. To be honest, I can't imagine this ending in any other way but unfavorable. Dad isn't exactly the most forgiving or rational person.

Frowning at Lou I tilt my head a little, "Why would you be anxious?"

"Because Louis has become a big softy since you came into the picture," the smirking and much uninvited Sutton comments from her spot beside him. She too is wearing sunglasses inside, maybe it's a genetic thing and her blonde hair is piled on top of her head in a messy bun. She doesn't look tired. Instead she looks hung over. Not that I blame her. After spending a week with her parents I'd probably resort to a bender of massive proportion as well.

Lou snaps his head in her direction and his glare though covered isn't exactly hard to guess, "Why are you even here?"

Sutton pulls down her sunglasses to peer dryly at Lou, "Emerson was my best friend before she was your girlfriend. I get first dibs on being a shoulder to cry on."

"I'm not crying." I grumble but they ignore me.

"So you just decided to invite yourself?"

Sutton shrugs and sits back in her seat, "I didn't hear anyone else doing it."

Lou snorts, "I'd tell you were irritating but I feel as though it would fall on deaf ears."

"Most likely," She smirks before turning her attention to me, "So, when are you going to Freddy Krueger?"

"He's not..." I begin before rubbing my temples with a sigh, "Visiting hours start at noon and end at three."

"It's two in the afternoon, Emmy."

Running a hand down my face I groan, "I know."

Nobody answers or comments so I start pacing again. I don't know what to do in this situation. I care about my dad in a way. I wouldn't be here if I didn't care for him in some messed up way but I can't seem to get the guts to actually go in and see him. The memory of our last encounter comes to mind and immediately sours any good intentions I may have towards him. He may be my dad, part of the reason I'm even here but that doesn't give him the right to treat me like shit. I stop pacing as that last thought echoes in my brain.

He doesn't have the right to treat me like shit.

It probably seems like an obvious idea but to me it's revolutionary. He doesn't have the right to treat me like shit. In fact, no one has the right to treat me like less than. It's like an epiphany, a revelation. It's a thought that had never occurred to me until this very moment. Up to this point of generally just taken what had been given to me. A large part of me had even been justifying it as being deserved but in this moment all that seemed like such a lie to me. What have I done to anyone to deserve being treated like I didn't matter?