You Left Me Stranded

Chapter 12 (Trigger warning)

(A\N: I'm so sorry it's taking me so long to update you guys. I've been having writers block amongst other issues, so please bare with me. Thank you so much lovelies.)

Waking up, I looked at the clock, which read 5:35pm. I took out my phone and got onto Twitter and boy was that a mistake. Roger and his friends (all preps) were on there talking about me and Austin. I am really fucking sensitive to these things and I guess that's why they do it. The first read, "@Mr.Rogertoofine: @ashlenisamazing just kill yourself if you're gonna get a faggot to stick up for you." I wanted to stop reading then but didn't, which I really regret. "@sexysuziec;: @ashlenisamazing gonna call the wambulance? You should cut yourself and die." What the Fuck is wrong with these people? I didn't do shit to them! 'But what if they are right..? I should die. That's the only thing good that will come out of it.'

I looked through my duffle bags and found one of my old blades. It's been forever since I've drug this fatal thing against my delicate, scared wrist. I twirled it in my fingers and sat against my bed, facing the window. I looked down at my wrist and sliced it gently. Each slice got more and more deep. I did it ten times on my left arm and my right leg. I don't care any more. I'm so tired of being made fun of by people. First it was my dad now all preps. I'm tired of everything.

I just sat there and I heard Bob whimper beside me. He laid beside me and put his head on my leg. He was looking up at me and I swear to you it looked like that dog had tears in its eyes. 'Oh Bob.. It's like you're the only one who cares about me..' I looked at the clock. 8:45pm. I patted his head, sighed, and got up to go the bathroom to clean up.

I popped my head out the door to make sure Austin was no where to be seen, and saw him, through the kitchen window, sitting outside with one of his friends. So, seeing it as my only opportunity, I grabbed my clothes, which was a long sleeved gown and underwear, and headed to the bathroom. I didn't want Austin seeing what I had done, so that means I have to wear long sleeves and be sure to cover the cuts. 'You're giving him even more of a reason to hate you, you sick fucking pig. Austin will never fucking like you.' I know the voices in my head were just mindless thoughts, but I am hoping they aren't true.

Turning on the shower, I got undressed and hopped in. The hot water felt like knives stabbing me where my battle wounds lie, but I had to clean them. Each touch, so sensitive, felt agonizing. I let a faint yelp as I was cleaning them, then finished washing up. Drying off was easier than washing because all you have to do is dab. 'Just look at yourself. Who will ever love you? Certainly not Austin.' Damn, my thoughts were not letting up.

After getting dressed, and making sure my wounds were bandaged and hidden, I walked outside and told Austin goodnight. I gave him a hug and I didn't want to let go. But I had to act like nothing was wrong. I can't let Austin know. He'll kick me out..

"Goodnight, Aus. I'll see you in the morning." I smiled at him and then wrapped my arms around his neck. "Goodnight, Ash. I'll see you in the morning." He smirked and I let go. I walked to my room and shut the door behind me. Bob was already on the bed next to the spot where I lie. 'At least I have you, Bob.' I smiled and laid down then drifted to sleep.