Note:
Possible Trigger Warning, I have no idea where those belong any more. They belong in the whole book, truly.
~
the 8th of February, 2026
Yesterday, Wei Wuxian had not hoped for a wedding night.
He knew too well that Wangji was far too attached to his brother, and even though it drove him crazy sometimes, that stubbornness the two Lans shared, he had to admit that this time it was all serious. It was quite expected and natural for the tall blonde to worry.
This was why, yesterday night, in the middle of the night, he was more than surprised to generously receive so much tenderness and passion, all heaped up all over him, in a flow of pure adoration. What had happened yesterday night had made him feel ashamed, but also had filled his heart with joy. It always felt so good to feel so wanted, desired.
They had made love madly, Lan Zhan had come to him prepared, and it had made him wonder just how long his pretty angel had been craving, until he finally made up his mind to wake him up, and shake him up.
True, today he woke up a little achy, and more sleepy than he would have liked, but it was all worth it. Because today, in the early morning, Wangji had woken him up with a kiss, probably a wetter kiss than he deserved, and had silently slipped the wedding ring onto his finger, shaking his head "no", and forbidding him to weep, even though it would have been happy tears.
They had put their rings on, in silence, in agreement, not bound by vows or ceremonies, but feeling such a strong sense of belonging that they fell back to bed, for more sensual kissing, and more slow love, until they finally fell asleep again, exhausted this time.
Lan Wangji had no idea just when his Ge had left off today, but he found the rings too early in the morning; they were there, a token of a decision made. He speechlessly accepted it, his brother's choice, and just did what was now right, and appropriate. He claimed what was his, given to him freely, willingly, in worship and devotion. His guilty conscious made him even more diligent than usual, and he made love to his brand-new husband with zest, with thoroughness that was almost excessive. The bliss, spilling over Wei Ying's face – again and again – was some reward, but...
...this heat, this fire, this passion - they could not compare to the literal Hell he had touched yesterday, in his Ge's bed.
I am going to hell.
I am a monster. A sinner.
Mother was right.
His Ge just loved saying those words, and Lan Zhan knew that he also believed them. Now, he was suspecting those words could label him too.
How was it that he had been so very upset about Wei Ying's ex – his ex-s? It sounded like a distant blemish from a previous lifetime now. He was worse.
It was so much worse.
Sex was not everything, and he, sad, realized that he now understood those quotes from the Bible better. His young, logical mind had revolted against them, but now he made sense of them. Even without the physical act, desiring your neighbor's wife was just as bad, or maybe even worse, than the real thing. Because you have already committed adultery... in your heart.
