𝘾𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙤𝙣 𝙋𝙚𝙤𝙥𝙡𝙚 - 𝙃𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙧 ✔

𝘌𝘭𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 | 𝘗𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘴

trigger warning- 

relapse of eating disorder,

panic attacks, self hate, underage drinking

"Sai, Christian, Nick, collect the cones." Coach Singh announced. "Charlie and Harvey can you collect the rugby balls, please? Good season, thank you! Well done, you guys."

"Next semester, will I be considered for the winger position?" Calum asked Coach, who was sitting on a beach chair, he had brought for himself from home to be able to watch the practice. Coach didn't mind, she also knew the boy had difficulty with coping with his injury, and didn't mind the boy's inputs.

Coach turned to him, "if your leg better and you get cleared, then sure."

Calum nodded. Feeling the sudden anxiety creep in. Calum knew he shouldn't sit through every rugby practice torturing himself like this, but he couldn't help miss being there. Also the thought of how easily he felt he could be replaced if he stopped coming.

He did not like that feeling.

Calum had grown to being over attached to certain things, activities and people. And sometimes the fear of missing out would overpower his sadness.

It started with; What if I don't show up one day and something crazy happens and I'm left out?

It could progress to; You don't show up one day they realise they don't actually need you and realise you're just a useless imposter that doesn't put in actual effort, you're a liability and just a waste of space.

Well, that wasn't so nice. What if he doesn't get better enough to play rugby ever? Well what is he going to do for college without a rugby scholarship? He cannot afford to pay for college without a scholarship. He is not going to ask Sarah for anything more than the necessities. David already thinks he's a waste of space and if it wasn't for Nick and Sarah he would tell him so. With all the thoughts surfacing... he needs to puke again. Well good thing he didn't eat anything right?

"Earth to Calum?"

Thankfully Christian and Sai got him out of that bad trance. "Sorry." He muttered.

"No, problem." Christian said, "practice is over, and you're getting sunburnt."

Calum looked around to see half of the field gone. "Oh."

"Do you want us to take your special beach chair back?" Sai asked.

Calum shook his head, "No thanks, I've got it."

Christian nodded his head at him questionably, "do you?"

"No offense, I don't think the crutches, the cast, and the beach chair is a good mixture, and we'd like you back in one piece preferably." Sai added.

Calum laughed at this, "fine. But I do my own chores after the cast and the crutches are off." He pointed a finger at them.

They raised their hands in mock surrender, "sir, yes sir."

≻───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────≺

"Tha-- you'r-- I thought you were smart, this is bullshit!" Ramona pushed Calum's shoulder.

Calum pushed her right back, "I'm sorry my dad isn't a chemist!"

"That doesn't have to do anything with it, you fool! This is the most basic shit we've learned all year, and you're not getting it! How are you going to pass?"

"No thanks to you." Calum muttered as he frantically started packing his things.

Ramona snatched his bag, "you are not walking away from me. If you try to run I'll catch you, you're slow right now."