Come Inside

VII

"YES, baby, I'll be coming home tonight." Elaine stopped automatically as she heard Jacob said that over a phone. He was walking in a fast pace, and Elaine was tailing him. Hindi siguro napansin ni Jacob na sinusundan niya ito. She turned her back then walked away. Of course! Bakit nga ba kasi nagpakatanga siya? He had his baby. He had a girlfriend! Or worse, wife. Kaya hindi ito pumayag na makipagtanan.

Tanan? 'Tang inang tanan 'yan. Pang nagmamahalan lang iyon. They didn't love each other - maybe she did, but it was a mistake. Her lips twitched as the moments earlier flashed in her mind. It was pure embarrassment. Shame on her for putting herself on that situation.

Camille looked at her with questions in her eyes but she didn't say anything to satisfy her friend's curiosity. Tahimik na lamang niya na kinuha ang kanyang bag at tsaka niya tinalikuran si Camille para umalis doon.

"Mauuna na ako," aniya.

She wanted to get wasted. Fuck! 5 years of yearning for nothing. 5 years of hard work just to get back to Philippines was futile. Heck, destiny approves her marriage with Kael. Si Camille lang naman ang may ayaw na pakasalan niya si Kael. Pati kasi ang sarili niya ay nakukumbinsi na niya na pakasalan ang kababata. Well, Elaine had no other choice. She'll just stick to what her and Kael's parents plan accordingly.

One drink. Only one shot, she convinced she just needed one fucking glass of black label of Johnnie Walker. It was already 8 PM and yet she just started to drink. Ang totoo'y alas cinco y media pa lamang ay naroroon na siya, hindi pa nga bukas iyon nang dumating siya eh. Gusto lang niya munang makalimot - sa ginawa sa kanya ni Jacob ilang araw na ang lumipas at ang kahihiyang pinasok niya kanina. Pero sa halip na makalimutan niya, everything plays in her mind, the feeling when Jacob tasted her, devoured her; and the feeling when Jacob turned down her proposal about eloping. Fuck! Shit! She looked down at her feet, feeling ashamed all over again.

The loud beat of music calmed her tits, and eventually made her dance on the floor. Lights flickering everywhere, changing colors from time to time, One Last Time by Ariana Grande is playing, her hips swaying with her hands up in the air, her hair waves in her every move. With her eyes closed, she cannot see who's the man who held her so close to him. Her butt is almost touching his crotch. The warmth of his hands almost took away all the coldness she'd felt.

"Jacob," the man whispered against her ears. Elaine instantly stopped dancing. She went frigid, as she heave for a long deep sigh with all her frustrations, anger, and disappointment. "I'm sorry." She felt his hands slipped away from her hips. She wanted those hands holding her but she fought it.

"Bakit ka nandito? You should be home tonight." She shouted. The music became so loud she doubted if Jacob heard her. "Hindi mo dapat ako kasama. Hindi ako ang dapat mong kasama."

Hinila siya palabas ni Jacob ngunit hindi na siya lumaban pa. She let him do what he wanted to do. Elaine kept quiet. Nang bitawan siya ni Jacob ay tumalikod siya para maglakad palayo.

"Then who's the one I should be with?" Muli siyang hinapit ni Jacob, ang kanyang likod ay nakadikit sa matigas nitong dibdib. She was enclosed with his arms around her. She tried to break free but she couldn't take his strength.

"Someone who isn't me," she answered. "Are you stalking me?"

"What would you do if I say yes?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing? Wala?" Nilingon ni Elaine si Jacob, madilim na ang mukha nito but she didn't care if her words hurt him like what she felt when his words cut through her. "I would go through all fucking corners of hell just to make you say something I wanted to hear."