Come Inside

XIV

THE rage in Ainie's eyes was so outrageous, it made Elaine shiver in fear. Kahit kailan ay hindi pa niya nakitang magalit ang kanyang mama lalo na't hindi pa siya umuwi kagabi nang sabihin ng papa niya na bumalik siya.

Sapo-sapo ni Ainie ang kanyang noo at tsaka ito pumikit ng mariin na tila parang pinipigilan nito na sumabog sa inis at galit. Ang papa naman ni Elaine ay naka-upo lamang at pinapanood ang kanyang mama. Magkasiklop ang daliri nito habang nakapatoong doon ang baba nito na tila parang hinihintay nitong magalit ang mama ni Elaine upang may magawa ito. That was her father's role: he always stops her mother from hurting her physically. Kalmado lamang lagi ang papa niya ngunit kapag nagsalita ito ay palaging mayroong tono sa kanyang boses na hindi nagugustuhan ni Elaine.

"Ainie, let it slide. It wasn't Elaine's fault that Kael don't want to marry her." Sa wakas ay binasag ng papa ni Elaine ang katahimikan. Napatingin si Ainie rito.

"It wasn't her fault? Kung siguro ay malinis ang intensyon ng anak mo, he could've married your daughter." Elaine gasped at her mother's spiteful voice. "He is a good choice for Elaine's spouse. Sayang iyon! He is good at their business and he's taking care of their company even in low position. Not everyone can do that! He is a gifted child. I want a better man for Elaine lalo na't hindi pa siya nakakatikim ng matinding trabaho dahil lahat ng pinasukan niya noon ay nag-resign siya kaagad. Sino ang bubuhay sa kanya kapag wala siyang trabaho? She can't expect us to feed her until she dies."

"I know she can go on with her life without us. She didn't grow up to be so dependent, Ain. She's your daughter, for goodness sake! Can't you trust Elaine's decisions? Don't you trust her? 'Cause based on what I see you take her happiness away, and I've had enough. I want her to grow up without getting strangled, without getting pressured. Elaine is already 26, Ainie. She can go on with her life without us, but she is still choosing to be with us because she believes she can patch things up with you." Enrico shook his head as if he disapproved everything Ainie had said.

"So, it's my fault now? Kung siguro hindi syinota ng anak mo iyong Baltazar na iyon, siguro hindi ganito ngayon! Your daughter liked Kael. She hoped for Kael tapos no'ng handa na 'yong lalaki, bigla siyang nag-iba ng tipo. At ang ipinalit pa, 'yong mahirap. Sa tingin mo, sinong nanay ang gustong makitang maghirap ang anak nila? Wala, 'di ba? That's why I want a decent man for her! 'Yong kayang ibigay ang lahat ng pangangailangan niya, lahat ng luho niya." Inayos ng mama ni Elaine ang buhok na kumawala mula sa pagkakatali habang makailang beses na humihinga nang malalim. "How I wish Elaine grew up like her brother, Elias."

Natigilan si Elaine nang marinig na naman ang pangalan ng kanyang kapatid. Elias... Her brother that is a man full of principles, the successor of Carbonel, the one who is great in everything. Why didn't she grow up like him?

"Kung siguro kagaya ni Elias si Elaine, she had already made her name shine. She may be successful in her own path. But no, she didn't. She's nothing but a big disappointment."

It is a big blow to Elaine upon hearing from her own mother that she is a big disappointment. Bagamat alam na niya 'yon, masakit pa rin pala talagang marinig. Her eyes began to fill with tears but she blinked several times just to stop tears from falling.

Damn! She's so weak.

"I wish you weren't my mother." Ani Elaine na nakapagpasinghap sa mama niya. "I wish I grew up from different family. Sana hindi ako ganito ngayon, sana masaya ako sa mga desisyong ginawa ko, eh 'di sana nakuha ko pa ang gusto ko. Because you know what? What you want from me is different from what I want. I am just wishing for a simple life that you can not give to me. I am wishing for something you can't give to me: support. And do you know where I found that support? Someone you wouldn't know who will support me. That's why I wanted to be with him. That's why I chose him. And the biggest regret of my life is choosing you over him because I thought... I thought you —"