Come Inside

XVI

KAEL stood so near. He was towering her so she needed to raise her head just to look at him in the eye. "Tell me, Elaine. Is it alright for you to marry me though the one you truly love isn't me? Kasi ayoko ng gano'n, Elaine. It's just right to quit the fucking engagement."

"Ano pa ba ang kinapuputok ng butsi mo? You have Camille! Be happy. Girl friend mo siya, 'di ba? Magpakasaya kayo, mga punyeta! I spent my fucking night asking why would you back out. Bakit nga ba kasi? You gave me assurance na mahal mo ako. But, never mind that, Kael, there won't be wedding, anyway." Elaine turned her back on him, walking away with all disappointment and betrayal. Her heart ached once again by the thought her friends hid her a secret. Kung alam lamang niya na gusto nina Kael at Camille ang isa't isa, matagal na siyang huminto. Kung sana lang ay sinabi ni Camille sa kanya, she would be willing to give Kael to her.

Muli, nagmukha siyang tanga!

And she hated the thought that she's such an idiot for falling for stupidity. Giving him no backward glance, she fled. Her wet top stuck on her skin as she escape from future embarrassment. Well, fuck!

Nang makasigurado na si Elaine na nakalayo na siya mula sa teritoryo ng mga Rodriguez, binagalan na niya ang paglalakad. And while walking, she kept on thinking where she should go, where should she stay?

Shit!

Siguradong basa ang lahat ng gamit niya kaya hindi pepuwedeng gamitin ang kanyang cellphone upang mayroong matawagan. Wala siyang ibang nagawa kundi ang magpakawala ng isang malalim na buntonghininga habang nakasandal sa mataas na pader ng isang gate. Nagsimulang magluha ang mga mata ni Elaine nang muling sumagi sa kanyang isip ang mga nangyayari sa buhay niya.

Moving out from her parent's house was like freeing herself from the chains that kept her unhappy. But leaving their house was searching for the happiness that had flown away from her own hands few years ago. In her mind right now, she was telling herself she can't be happy. She felt so empty like the street she's in, a quiet, dead place like no one's going to come through. Drops of rain started to fall again from the sky yet she can no longer be wetter.

"Elaine..."

She froze on her spot as she heard his voice near her. Elaine raised her head, cocking it to her right where Jacob was standing. Her mouth fell agape as he took a step forward into her. His bloodshot, tired eyes bore onto her as if he didn't want to get his eyes off her. Once again, her heart began to beat erratically against her chest when he closed the distance between them, erasing the gap between them. She felt the static as he put his hands against her cheeks, and they were face to face, eye to eye. As she stare at his eyes, she realized she was looking at the tired remains of war that went through his head. As soon as his fingers grazed gently on her face, she felt the coldness of his touch reminding her of how afraid he was to let her go. And when their forehead touched each other; words, phrases, sentences, promises, and memories came back rushing through her head telling her how much he means to her, how much she loves Jacob, how much she did for his sake. It's so easy to forgive. What's hard is that thinking too much, thinking of consequences, thinking about anger.

"I can't just give you away. I can't just leave you like that. Elaine, it's hard. This is hard. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang tama't mali." Anito sa mahinang tinig ngunit tama lang upang magkarinigan silang dalawa. "I would say a million sorry for all the mistakes that I've done. Just please, please, come with me. Elope with me, just like what you've wanted. We can run away now. Just back out from that engagement, just pick me over them. Fuck!"

Tila parang napaso si Jacob na lumayo sa kanya at saka nito hinilot ang sentido. He breathed in and out so many times before he spoke again, "This is so selfish. I am so selfish. I'm sorry, Laine. I'm so sorry if I'm like this." Jacob groaned. "Damn, kitten, I want you back so bad I might die. It's bad but it's pleasure for me. I want you back."