RIVALRY [ heesun ]

thirty.

When I was a kid, I used to wait near our house's gate to see my parents arrived after a long day. I would bring my toys with me so that I could play with them once they step into the house.

Little Aryse would feel excited whenever the gate opens and it will reveal his parents. Kahit pa paulit-ulit lang ang naririnig niya sa kanila.

"We're tired, we'll play next time."

Little me would feel hopeful after hearing those words. Pero hanggang sa dumating ang araw na malinawan ako sa mga nangyayari sa paligid ko, hindi kailanman nila tinupad ang mga salitang 'yon.

"Johann?" My body started trembling when I heard my name come out from his mouth again. He doesn't sound mad but it affects me so much.

I looked at Nanay Fina with tears in my eyes, pinapahiwatig na hindi pa rin pala ako maayos para bumalik sa lugar na 'to. I was about to stand up from my seat when Dad approached me.

"W-what will you do.." Agad kong depensa. I protected my body using my arms, caging it.

Nang makalapit siya, I closed my eyes para hindi na muling makita ang pananakit niya. It's way better to just feel the pain and not witnessing it. Sa ganoong paraan ay hindi ko maaalala ang paghihirap na naranasan ko.

But to my surprise, he wrapped his arms around me, a comfort gesture. Nagtataka kong binuksan ang mga mata at binigyan siya ng mapanuring tingin.

What happened to him?

"D-dad?" I called, when he is still hugging me. It took him minutes to finally let go.

"I wasn't myself when I hit you, Johann. There's been so much going on in our firm and my anger build up. I'm sorry I wasn't able to stop myself that day. Sorry." I was surprised to hear this words from him.

It was the first time he apologized.

"B-but it was my fault for not reaching your expectations.." I stated, bowing my head down.

He touched both of my shoulder para tumingin ako sa kanya then he said, "I know you're always trying. But trying hard will eventually make you succeed, Johann. That position doesn't matter anymore. You can always stand up."

"Really? It's okay to you that I didn't get the position?" I said, hoping.

"Getting the position is not the only way to make it at the top spot. Rather, take this opportunity to focus on your studies. You can be the valedictorian then, Johann. That way, I will be proud of you." I'm having mix emotions as he say those words.

His statement is oddly comforting, yet I feel like he's putting much pressure.

He doesn't want the president's spot anymore so now I have to try hard to secure the top spot a.k.a be the valedictorian?

It's confusing..

"Just focus on your studies and you'll be fine. Wala tayong magiging problema." Mom joined the conversation. She doesn't sound masungit right now. Pero hindi rin malumanay ang boses niya.

Salitan ko silang tinignan. My parents are giving me another chance to hear the word I've been wanting to hear from them.

Who am I to not take that chance?

All my life, I'm living as their trophy. I had to excell first for me to feel appreciated by my own kind.

Tama naman sila. They are excelling sa field na gusto nila, and so I should too.

So I have to take this opportunity.

Kung ang batayan ng pagmamahal para sa kanila ay makamit ang pinakamataas na karangalan, gagawin ko ito.