SKYFALL, Johnny Kavanagh

Eye for an eye

Maeve's Point of View

It took a while before either of us said anything again.

The bus rumbled under us, the road humming quietly, punctuated by the occasional yell from the front – Gibsie, no doubt – and the clatter of boots against plastic as someone tripped on their way to the back.

Johnny didn't say a word.
Just leaned back, hand draped casually over the seat behind me, thumb tapping against the vinyl rhythmically.
It wasn't touching me, but it was close enough that I felt it.
Every second.

I stared out the window, sipping the last of my tea.

"So." He said eventually, voice low. "What are we talking about if we're not talking about it?"

I didn't need to ask what it was.

"Rain? Politics? The general failure of the Irish education system?"

He huffed a laugh. "Alright. Let's start light. Why are you so violent in P.E.?"

I blinked. "Excuse me?"

"You elbowed one of the second years in the ribs during rounders last week."

"He tried to body check me. I was just defending my space."

"You were defending it like it owed you money."

I shrugged. "I don't like being crowded."

Johnny was quiet for a beat. "Yeah. I've noticed."

My jaw tightened, but I didn't rise to it. "Are you bringing that up for a reason?"

"No." He paused. "Just making conversation."

We sat in silence for another minute.

Then he leaned forward slightly, elbows on his knees. "You know we made a deal, right?"

I frowned. "What?"

"To be friends."

My stomach twisted.

He didn't sound accusing – just tired. Tired in the way people get when they're holding something delicate and it's already started to crack.

"I remember." I said quietly.

"So do I." His voice stayed even. "And I meant it. Still do."

I swallowed. "I know."

"So, if we're doing that – being friends – you have to actually talk to me, Maeve. Not about everything. But you can't just run every time it gets messy."

He leaned back again. "Look, I'm not going to push you. I'm not trying to make you do or say anything you're not ready for. I just don't want it to be like this."

I glanced at him. "Like what?"

"This weird limbo thing. Like you're here, but you're not."

My heart pinched.

"I'm not trying to mess with your head." He said. "And I'm not going to pretend we didn't kiss. But I'm not asking for anything. Not now."

I tried for flippant. "First time a boy's said that to me."

He didn't laugh.
Didn't smile.
His expression turned hard in an instant. "Don't joke about that."

I blinked. "Johnny."

"No. Seriously." His voice was quiet, but it hit like a slap. "Don't do that. Don't make a joke out of things that hurt you just so I'll let them slide."

I opened my mouth.
Closed it again.

Because he wasn't wrong.

He looked at me then, really looked. "You don't have to make everything a punchline, Maeve. Not with me."