SKYFALL, Johnny Kavanagh

Use me as much as you want

Johnny's Point of View

Maeve broke.
Right in front of me.
Right in my arms.

And I had no fucking clue what to do with that.

She had come apart without warning, silent and shaking, her fingers curling into my hoodie like she was holding herself together by force.

And I had just stood there.

Held her.
Let her use me.

Because what the fuck else could I do?
What the fuck else was there to do?

She didn't sob.
Didn't breathe.
Just shook.

Like her body was rejecting the weight of everything she'd been carrying.

Like it was too much all at once.
Like it had finally tipped over the edge.

And I thought—fuck.

I had seen grief before.
I had seen loss.

But not like this.
Not quiet like this.
Not devastating like this.

I had felt the way she had melted against me, warm and trembling, like she needed something solid to hold onto before she disappeared completely.

And I didn't let go.

Not until she stepped back, not until she wiped her face on her sleeve, not until she whispered. "I need to go."

And my first thought was no.
Because she shouldn't be alone right now.
Because Joey didn't want her there.
Because I didn't want her there.

"Maeve."

Her lips pressed together. "I have to. It's Shannon's birthday today. I don't want to leave her alone."

I frowned.
That was new information.
That was something she should have told me before.

I ran a hand through my hair, forcing myself to stay calm. "Joey wanted you to stay."

"I have to go back."

"I could go pick her up."

She flinched.
Barely.
So slight I almost missed it.

Almost.

"No."

The way she said it?
Too fast.
Too sharp.

Like a fucking reflex.
Like I had hit a nerve she didn't mean to expose.

I narrowed my eyes. "Why not?"

She swallowed. "She's just tired. She wouldn't want to."

Bollocks.
Absolute fucking bollocks.
But she said it so evenly, so calmly, that I almost believed her.

I stared at her, at the way she wouldn't look at me, at the way her hands were still clenched into the sleeves of her hoodie like she needed something to hold onto.

"Stay for now."

She nodded.

And I let out a slow breath, chest tight, jaw clenched, my head spinning with a million questions I wasn't allowed to ask.

I needed to get her mind off of this.
Off of everything.

Because Maeve sitting here, tense and quiet, curling in on herself like she was waiting for something to collapse.
I hated it.

I hated it more than anything.

And maybe that was selfish.
Maybe I just couldn't stand seeing her like this.
Maybe I didn't give a fuck.

So I cleared my throat, shifting my weight. "I got Return of the King."

Her head lifted slightly, eyes flicking toward me. "What?"

I shrugged, like this wasn't deliberate.
Like I wasn't doing this on purpose.
Like I hadn't spent a full five minutes staring at the DVD rack in Tesco wondering if this was a stupid fucking idea.

"The film." I said, nodding toward the living room. "The third one."

She blinked at me. "You bought it?"

"Yeah."

Another pause.
Then, finally.
The smallest hint of a smile.

Barely there.
So small I would've missed it if I hadn't been fucking searching for it.

And fuck.
I wanted to keep it there.

So I jerked my head toward the living room. "You want to watch it?"

"Yeah."

I nodded once. "Alright."

We moved to the living room without saying much, settling onto the couch like this was normal, like this was just another night.
Like I wasn't watching her every move, trying to figure out what the fuck was really going on in her head.

I leaned forward, grabbing the DVD case from the coffee table and opening it.
I grabbed the remote, settling back onto the couch as the opening music started playing.
Maeve pulled her knees up, tucking her feet under herself, arms wrapped around them.

I glanced at her and I exhaled.
Good.
This was good.

Because I wasn't letting her sit in that fucking spiral, wasn't letting her sink deeper into whatever hell she was keeping locked behind her teeth.

And if the only thing I could do was sit here and make sure she had a distraction?
Then fuck it.
That was exactly what I was going to do.