Skinny Love

Seven.

LISTEN TO DAYLIGHT BY MAROON 5 WHILE READING THIS OMFBLORD

dedicated to writingisfreedom13

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We went to my therapist. She said I had to go to her for sessions everyday again. She put me on meds. (A/N: SHE WON'T GET OUTTA MY HEAD SHE'S KINDA HOT THO). Alex is leaving tomorrow early in the morning.

Basically what I'm trying to establish is that today has been a shit day.

I've spent the entire day (after returning from the hospital) watching reruns of Doctor Who with Alex. He said he'll stay the night.

I try to concentrate on what The Doctor is saying to Donna but my mind just keeps going back to Alex leaving. I can't help but think of the lastness of it all. The last time I watch Doctor Who with Alex. The last time I hear him laugh in that adorable way with his nose scrunched up. The last time I see the crinkles by his eyes when he laughs (A/N: no 1d pun intended). The last time I sit on this bed with him. The last time I hug him. The last time he hugs me. The last time we cuddle together. The last time we eat mac and cheese together. The last time we do anything together.

I almost cry when I think about it. Sure, he'd promised me to Skype me everyday, but who am I kidding, it's just not the same. I wouldn't be able to hear him breathe (as creepy as that sounds). I wouldn't be able to touch him.

It sucks.

I try to concentrate on watching Doctor Who but it's practically impossible. I can tell that he's thinking about him leaving as well by the distant look in his blue eyes and by the way he takes his lip in between his teeth.

I don't question it. Some might assume that, because it's our last day together, we'd have a lot to say to one another. It's just not the truth. The truth is you're sad. And you don't want to face it by speaking. You just want to drown in your own sorrow. You're just too sad to speak.

That is the truth.

I don't want him to leave. I don't want him to ever leave. I'll miss him so fucking much, it hurts. It hurts like hell. I don't want to speak to him. Not right now. Right now I just want to lie here beside him, his arms wrapped around me and my head on his shoulder for the last time, watching Doctor Who and eating mac and cheese together.

"Please don't do anything stupid."

"What?" I blink up at him.

"Promise me you won't do anything stupid while I'm away."

"...I won't. I promise."

"Good. I can't stand being away from you. Not knowing what you're doing all the time, not knowing how you are. You need to keep that promise for me."

I nod and put my head back on his shoulder.

After a few minutes of silence, he says, "Fuck this." He shuts off the laptop and puts it away before leaning back on the headrest of the bed.