You Had Me at "Handkerchief" {Bilbo Baggins/LOTR}

Chapter III: Party Like It's 3001

Chapter III:

Party Like It's 3001

    The birthday celebration of Bilbo Baggins is unlike one I have ever seen, coming from years-upon-years in the enchanted halls of the Lady of Light.  Celebrations for the elves are characterized by elegance and ballrooms, whereas Hobbiton is all flowers and drinks.  From my position in the crowd of shorter hobbits, I see the continued fireworks on part of Gandalf's magic.  First, a moving wagon surpasses the borders of the stars, and next, a large green tree to which flowers fall.  It is in all forms magical, and fully worth the work of my mother, rushing around to light the fireworks.

    To the great joy of my dwarven companions, the party is overflowing in rich delicacies and pints of ale.  All around me, hobbits are decked out in floral garlands, avidly avoiding the rowdy and drunken dwarves of Erebor.  On more than one occasion, I burst into laughter at the sight of Bofur dancing upon a table.  Yes, this is a party unlike any other.

    Taking the celebration in from a withdrawn position, I motivate my legs to traverse the dance floor, towards a group of gathered children, Bilbo, and my mother.  It does not take the great ears of a Phoenician to recognize their storytelling actions, Bilbo's gestures and articulate language a force of oratory greatness.  Who knew the hobbit had it in him?  Surely, not I.

"So, there we were, at the mercy of three monstrous trolls.  Have you ever heard of  a troll? Do you know what a Troll is? Great big nasty twenty foot high smelly things...and they're arguing...arguing about how they were going to cook us!" Bilbo recalls with widened arms, as if trying to recreate the size of a troll, an impossible feat.  Both my mother and myself laugh at the imagery as I take a seat on a nearby log.  I have heard this story on a multiplicity of occasions in the past, and it always ignites an argument between my parents: my father claims her to be his savior, while my mother relates Bilbo as the true hero.  Sixty years, obviously, can only change so much.

"Whether it be turned on a spit or minced in a pie or whether they were going to  sit on us one by one and squash us into jelly!  But they spent so long arguing the whether-to's and why-for's that the  sun's first light crept over the top of  the trees...and turned them all to stone!" Bilbo exclaims in an excited frenzy.  At his words, the young hobbit children gasp in astonishment.  To further this, a new round of fireworks goes off in such an inconsistent manner that I expect a hobbit to be up to mischief.

The astonishment of the crowd quickly transpires into terror as the bursting of the explosives sets off a bright dragon which makes directly towards the crowds.  This is probably the most dangerous occurrence these hobbits have ever faced, unlike Bilbo who actually conversed with Smaug the Terrible.  He is, indeed, not a normal hobbit.

"Bilbo, watch out for the dragon!" I yell, standing quickly from my squatted position as I recognize Bilbo's ignorance to the not-so-dangerous-dragon.  As if the story is continuing on, the hobbit disagrees with my accelerated words and pays no heed to the panicked children.

"Dragon? Nonsense...hasn't been a dragon in these parts for a thousand years!" Master Baggins exclaims as I search around the area for my mother.  She has an acute ability to disappear without a trace and at the worst of times, now being one of them.  At the same glance, I notice my father's arrival near my side, looking angered by the hobbits all around him.

"We said that about the Trolls..." he recollects just as the dragon takes a nosedive towards our petty forms.  Knowing better than to ignore the urge, I tackle Bilbo to the ground, just as the dragon coasts over the startled crowds, flies a somersault, and explodes with infinitesimal colors. But of course, the hobbits cheer in glee over the sight, as if they were not just running for their lives.  Dancing resuming and with an eye towards Gandalf's reprimanding of two hobbits, I recognize my crouched state over the flustered hobbit.