Wishing for Hope

Chapter 23

I had done everything Lane asked me to do for his plan, but I didn't know if I could go see Caleb. I mean I couldn't. 

I was driving around and for some reason I found myself where I didn't wanna go. I sat there for awhile until I opened my door and walked over to where Caleb was. I didn't know what I was gonna say. Do I even say anything? I didn't even bring flowers. What is wrong with me. I couldn't do this, I couldn't. I turned around and started to run back to my car. Tears were filling my eyes and I just wanted to leave. I wasn't looking where I was going and I ran into someone's chest.

 Before I could pull away they wrapped their arms around me and said "it's okay Hope" and I realized it was Lane. I was trying not to cry and I craned my neck to look up at him. "You can see him Hope, it'll be okay" he said in a comforting voice. "Come with me?" I asked in a little above a whisper. And he nodded his head yeah.

 We walked slowly back over to Caleb and when we reached him I just stared at it. "It was a car accident" I said and Lane just nodded his head. "A car ran a red light and ran right into him, and killed him" I said and a few tears fell down my face. I looked down at the headstone and it read Caleb Wallence and I cried a little more.

 "He had left my house, and I don't know where he was going, I guess home, but about 2 hours after he left I got a call from my parents saying he at the hospital, and when I got there he was gone." I was now crying. I crouched down and ran my hands over his engraved name. "Hey" I said then laughed a little "I didn't know what I was gonna say to you" I stopped talking because I was crying harder now. 

Lane stood back a little and just looked at me. I'm glad he was here.

 "You've missed a lot, Conner grew like 5 inches since summer and I quit martial arts, but I'm back at it, and I quit drawing for awhile because it all just seemed so pointless but now here I am painting something for the art show. You'd be proud" I said while tears were covering my eye sight.

 I let my head drop down and watched as my tears hit the fallen leaves. "Why didn't you tell me you sent in portfolios of my drawings?" I asked him and chuckled again to myself. "You always did surprise me" I was now sitting in front of his headstone.

 I looked behind me and saw that Lane was back at our cars now, and I turned back around to face Caleb. "Your funeral was sad, I actually ran out of the church. Pathetic right? Well anyways I was suppose to speak and I just stood up and ran out while all the people were there staring at me. It was cold outside considering it was Summer, and the wind was blowing. The clouds were gray and it was like the sky was mourning you as well." I stopped talking for a minute thinking he could answer me, but I knew he never would be able to.

 "And also you never told me you knew Lane. And who the hell is Mary?" I asked and laughed a little "I mean I know who she is, but what does she have to do with you?" I asked and just stared at his headstone waiting for an answer I'd never get.

 "I wish you could answer me" I whispered. "I miss you so much Caleb it hurts. I cried for the first month and then I think I was all cried out because I just stopped crying. Until Lane came along with this stupid plan. and it kind of worked and is still working. I mean I still miss you, I'll always miss you, and I'm still sad about losing you, but I'm not so depressed anymore. I smile and laugh and I actually kind of have a life. I never though I would get over you, and I'm still trying to get over you." I paused. 

"But why did you have to die Caleb? Why did you leave?" I was crying again. "I love you so much and I'll always love you Caleb." I whipped my checks and smiled at the headstone. 

I didn't say anything for while, and I just sat there. The wind started to blow a little and I started to get cold. "Bye Caleb" I whispered while I stood up. "I'll come see you again" and then I walked back to my car.