Love Is For The Weak | BTS reverse harem/poly-relationship au .

Not the same without you

Tiara 

It's been a few weeks... I do not regret telling him what i did. I know it's a lot but it has helped me, this is the first time in ages that I've slept properly without taking my sleeping medication. I feel good, i no longer have that weight on my shoulders, i feel free. I've called the other boys to apologize for my actions. Life was going good, I moved back to the dorms with Donnie, and Dia came to visit! She went back but we had lots of fun. I'm currently getting dressed to go see Namjoon for the first time since we had that talk. I needed some time because the first week after that talk I was a wreck. I didn't leave my room for a week and that's when Dia decided to give me a surprise visit. Without her i'd prolly still be cooped up in my room smelling like month old fried chicken.

Anyways, I pull on my black and white converse and make my way towards the cafe that me and Namjoon agreed to meet at.

When I arrived Namjoon was already there he was dressed in a brown trench coat and black pants with his hair neatly styled in a platinum blonde mullet. I just realized that around this time should be when they start production of Map of the Soul: 7. I wonder if they decided to keep the song JungKook and I made.

I muster up all the courage I have left and walk to the table Namjoon is seated at.

"Hello Namjoon, how've you been?" I say smiling.

"Hello Tiara, I've been well, what about you?" He smiles back, but the smile doesn't quite reach his eyes.

"I've been a lot better." I say.

"That's great." He says taking a sip of his tea.

I look down and see he's already ordered my favourite brown sugar pearl milk tea.

'I know how much you love it so I ordered it for you." He said 

"Well, thank you." I said giving him a genuine smile.

"So how are they?" I ask carefully.

"I want to say that theyre fine, but I really can't. They're so worried and miss you so much T. I miss you so much. It's just not the same without you."

"I'm so sorry, but i needed time. I mean I just spilled my entire heart and soul to you... I needed time."

" I totally understand that. Nobody is blaming you, we're all blaming ourselves..." He sighs.

"I want to see them soon... I miss them a lot too." I say quietly.

"We can go right now if you want, they're all home we just finished filming for a music video when I rushed here."

"I don't know Namjoon..." I say.

There's no way they won't be upset. They probably hate me, I don't think I can handle seeing them so angry at me.

"Tiara I can already see that you're thinking too much, I promise they aren't mad. They miss you just as much as you miss them."

"Okay let's hurry up before I change my mind."

We pay for our drinks then leave the cafe, I hop into the back of Namjoon's car with him and let the driver drive us to the BTS dorms.

We arrive at their home and I instantly get nervous again. I don't know how they're going to react and its terrifying me.

"Alright T, we're going to go to living room and I'm going to call them all down. Don't be nervous, I promise they aren't mad." Namjoon says as he puts the code into the home.

I just nod, as I don't trust myself to speak right now.

He opens the door and I follow him into the living room. They had an air of quiet greatness , the living room of the sleek, modern home was lined with shining awards and Framed photos of all the members filled the space with warmth, each one a frozen moment of brotherhood and history.

"I'm gonna go get them, don't run away again." He says chuckling.

I just sit down and wait, my leg is bouncing and my palms are really sweaty. I wait about 5 minutes and they all come down. They notice me instantly and I jump to my feet. We just stare at each other and I look at each of their faces looking for any hint of anger. All I see is hurt, not anger, and my eyes begin to water as I realized that I caused them so much hurt.

"Guys... Im so sorry." I whisper, choking on tears.

I bury my face in my hands as I sob. As I cried I felt a hand rub my back and I look up to see Jimin and Jungkook smiling back at me teary eyed.

"We're just happy you came back Tiara." Jimin says.

I look at the rest of them and they're smiling at me too. Although Taehyung looks uninterested. He just turns around and goes back upstairs.

"T, I think you should talk to him. He's been struggling." Hobi says.

I slowly nod wipe my tears and give each of them a warm hug. I make my way up the stairs and knock on his door.

"Taehyung, can we talk?" I say slightly opening the door.

He just nods and continues to look at his phone.

"Tae... I know that I said some hurtful things and..."

He's not even looking at me, just typing away on his phone. So I got up and snatched it from his hand.

He looked furious  when he shot up and yelled at me. 

"HOW COULD YOU!? HOW COULD YOU!? WE GAVE YOU EVERYTHING! OUR HEARTS, TIME, SOULS. WE FOUGHT FOR YOU! WE TRIED! AND STILL...and still... you didn't want me."

He says hysterically.

"Taehyung I WANT YOU! I tried too... I tried so much that I realized if you guys were to leave me I'd be a disaster. I couldn't bear the thought so at the first chance I left. I left before I could leave me, but now i realize that I've realized I'm too far gone. I am a shell of who I am without you guys. Please... please forgive me. I'm human, I make mistakes, my biggest mistake was hurting you." 

I slowly reach for his hand.

A/M: Hey curdies, it's been a while. Anyways here y'all go. I hope y'all still fw me. Writing style might have changed, grew up a bit but still the same soul.