Diamonds or Dirt?

Chapter 10: Babysitting Part 2

Rylee's POV

Sam crushes his lips against mine and its like my whole body is on the verge of exploding. Everything around us seems to freeze. There is no time. There is only us. His lips fit perfectly against mine and his hands caress my face so softly you'd think I was about to break. My hands find their way behind his neck and I lightly run my fingers from his shirt to his hair line causing him to have goose bumps.

I can't help but smile against his lips when he wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer. My body hums with pleasure. He deepens the kiss and my head spins. I have never felt anything like this. Without breaking the kiss Sam carefully lifts me up bridal style and carries me back into the living room where he sits on the couch with me on his lap.

Finding it hard to breathe I pull away from him and his lips make their way across my face and he stops at my ear.

"Is that what you wanted?" He asks me. His voice low and raspy. His breathing coming in deep breaths. His lips find their wak onto my neck and all I can do is nod. I am overcome with pleasure. He peppers kisses along my collar bone and works his way up the other side of my neck. I know he can feel my heart beating out of my chest. When he makes it back up the other side he kisses behind my ear and pulls away slightly.

"I have been dreaming of doing that ever since I saw you. You are so beautiful and you deserve the best." He says and with that he pulls away. "And I can't give that to you. You need someone who makes enough money to support you and to give you a good home. I can't promise you that. You belong with Toby, but I need you to watch your back. Many women would kill to be in your shoes, but Toby isn't always what he seems. I just want you to know. As long as you are here I will watch out for you, but you need to be with Toby. He is the one you should love. No matter how much I hate seeing  you with him, I know what you need and I'm not it." He says and with that he stands up and sits me back on the couch and goes upstairs without another word.

I sit there for a moment stunned at what I just heard. My head is spinning in circles. One voice tells me he is right. That I should just forget about him and concentrate on Toby. Another voice reminds me of Sam's warning 'Toby isn't always what he seems' what does that mean? Sam would know Toby better than anyone, and I trust him, but what could Toby be doing that would put me in danger of being hurt. Finally another voice says. Don't let him get away. There is only one Sam and you will never find someone who makes you feel so alive again.

While all this commotion is going on in my head I cancel everything out and I only listen to one thing, my heart. When I think about Sam or hear his voice it's like my heart skips a beat. He gives me feelings that I can't describe, and there is no way I can survive without him, on the other hand it says that Toby still has a major role in this and I can't end it with him yet. There is something I have to learn from this, but I dont know what.

All I know is Sam is special and I don't want to lose him. His touch keeps me going, and makes me feel beautiful.

Sam's POV

WHY THE HELL DID YOU SAY THAT? I mentally scream at myself. I have to ruin everything. She is probably down there right now thinking about how to get me fired for what I did. My heart is finallly back to normal after that kiss. How could I have been so stupid. Why did I kiss her. At least now I know what love feels like. Yes I admit it I love her.

I love the way she smiles. I love how she blushes when she is embarassed. I love the look in her eyes she gets when I touch her. I love the little wrinkle she gets when she is frustrated or concentrating, but mostly I love the person she makes me. She gives me life and hope. When I'm with her I feel like I can do anything, but she deserves more than me.

It's because I love her that I know I'm no good for her. She needs someone who is safe. Someone who will be able to give her what she deserves. She needs someone who can provide for her and buy her nice things. Sure it will kill me inside to see her happy with someone like Toby. Someone who isn't loyal, but at least she will have a good life, a comfortable life. If it's not filled with love she at least has something to fall back on.

She will always have me to fall back on. After what I felt when I kissed her there is no way any woman will fill me up the way she does. Her beauty is more than skin deep. I just hope Toby learns to appreciate it.

Eventually I manage to shake off these thoughts and head back downstairs. For the rest of the day I manage to have as little contast with her as possible. I take her a try of food instead of bringing her to the kitchen. I have a wheel chair avaliable when she needs to go to the bathroom. I manage not to make eye contact with her knowing that my will would break and I would go to her begging her to leave Toby and come to Texas with me.

I am relieved when Toby gets home at 7 and relieves me of my duty. I go out to the pasture and saddle up my horse for a long ride. I find a trail and ride for miles. Only stopping when I see the sun start to set. I turn my horse around and make it back to the pasture as the last trace of the sun disappears below the horizon.

As I am grooming my horse after that long ride I think to myself 'maybe babysitting is a little more complicated than I thought', and with that my thoughts drift back to what im doing.