Now That I've Found You...

NTIFY (10)

I awoke in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. When I slid back in bed, I turned on the tv to put me to sleep. He rolled over, put his arm around my waist and kissed my shoulder as usual. I swear he does this while he's still asleep.

"You up? Want a snack or something?" I suggested.

"Mmm yeah can I have a sandwich? Thanks babe." He gave me another kiss.

I went to the kitchen, made two sandwiches and poured a glass of milk for him. When I got back up to the room, I saw that he wasn't in bed anymore. Unlike before, the bathroom light was on and the door was open so I figured he was in there. I put the plate and glass on the nightstand by my usual bedside and walked over to the bathroom to meet him at the door. When I got to the doorway, it surprised me that he wasn't there. But when I turned around, I couldn't believe my eyes. Looking through the mirror on the closet door, I saw feet on the door at his side of the bed, his whole body was trembling crazily. I raced to his side screaming his name attempting to maybe wake him up. When he started foaming at the mouth, I realized he was having a seizure. I yelled for help as I was kneeling beside him. John and Steph ran in the room when they heard me screaming. Stephanie quickly grabbed a pillow and put it under his head explaining that it was to prevent him from causing a head trauma. She then told John to call an ambulance and me to run in the bathroom to grab a towel. I did as she told me to because you know, Steph is a RN.

Jammie came walking in, sleep still in her eyes. When we saw her at the door John picked her up and took her to her room. No one wanted to see her brother like that.

The EMT workers came and lifted him out in a stretcher. I've never been so terrified. John and Stephanie left with the ambulance. I packed up Jammie's things for the night and dropped her off at my house with Lucas and my mom. I sped off to the hospital. Bursting through the 'EMERGENCY ROOM' doors. I asked the nurse where my boyfriend was and she led me to him. He was still trembling and I just stood there watching him, absolutely fucking terrified. It hurt so much to see him going through that. I wondered if he was ever in any pain. Then, he just stopped. His eyes were still closed, his arms and legs strapped down to the bed, his hands balled into fists. He opened his eyes, looked around, he became confused. He didn't remember what happened. He tried to take the towel out of his mouth then realized that he couldn't because he was still being restrained. He tried to break free and realized that we were all watching him.

"Ben? It's Dr.Matthews. Do you remember me?" He flinched when she slowly walked up to him. "You are in the hospital, you just had a seizure. This is your nurse, Nurse Jacklynn. Jacklynn and I are gonna untie you and then I will ask you some questions. Okay?" He slowly nodded. They untied him and took the towel out of his mouth. He looked at me like a scared child and all I could do was nod. I wanted him to know that he doesn't have to be scared. He needs to know that I'm here for him. We are all right here for him.

"Alrighty. Have you ever had a seizure in the past?" He shook his head. "I remember you and your girlfriend Sam, were in a car accident. How have you guys been feeling?" I nodded at her when she looked to me and when we all looked at Bennie, his head was down.

"Good some days." He said very low like the words barely came out. This really shocked me because he never told me anything nor did I see any changes in him. "I've been having some pretty bad headaches in the mornings lately.. Actually on and off since the accident. But then it stopped after a little while so I thought it wasn't serious. But recently, the headaches came back and then this happened."

"Okay. Look at my finger... Any nausea or vomiting, any fatigue?" She asked as she shined a flashlight in his eyes.

"Well there was this one time that I had a stomach virus.... Or at least I thought it was until now.... Doc.. what's wrong with me?" He looked really scared and all I wanted to do was just somehow make everything better so he wouldn't have to feel like this. But I couldn't and I felt useless.

"Well Ben, we're not quite sure yet but we'll definitely take care of it once we figure out the problem. First we'll need to run some tests to see what's going on with you. Jacklynn will come in to prepare you for that. I'll be right back." She left the room.

I walked up to him. He just stared at the wall in front of him. When I got to the head of the bed he just rested his head on me and I rubbed his hair. He needed some comforting. He was never a fan of being a patient in the hospital, or needles and all of the other works. I remember when he broke his arm from falling off of our trampoline when we were seven. He was so scared just to get an X-ray. I just really hope everything is okay with him. I can't lose him. Not ever.
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I woke up in the chair next to his bed. He was sitting at the edge of the bed, watching tv. John and Steph were sleeping in the chairs on the opposite side of the bed. He put a blanket over me while I was asleep.

"When did you get back from the CT Scan?" I stretched in the chair.

"A little while. You guys were asleep so I sat here and watched some tv waiting for Dr. Matthews to come back with the results from the test.... I had another seizure right beforehand..." I could see that he was ashamed to say it.

"Babe, it's okay, this isn't your fault. Just stay positive and everything will work out. I know it will." As much as I was trying to convince him I was also trying to convince myself because I was also terrified. He moved over on the bed and asked me to lay with him. I crawled up next to him and we initiated our usual laying arrangements- his arms around my waist and my head resting on his chest.

"I'm tired of wearing this stupid dress with my ass all out in the open." I couldn't help but laugh at his misfortune. Anything to distract him from worrying. "Thank you for being here with me babe. I really appreciate it." He kissed my head.

"Where else would I be huh? Nowhere else but right here by your side where I always belonged and always will be." I snuggled in closer into him and smiled at his usual sweet fresh scent. There was a knock at the door.

"Hi Ben. It's Dr. Matthews," She poked her head in the room. "I have your results here, from the CT Scan."

"Come in." He responded. His parents started waking up.

"So the test went well. We were able to see all that we needed to see. However, what we saw wasn't quite what we were hoping for... "

"Doc what's wrong with me? What did you find?" He held my hand tightly. We weren't nearly prepared for what she said next. My heart was pounding so fast I couldn't even imagine how Bennie was feeling. But I could tell  that he was definitely worried and nervous by the way that he was holding my hand. She was pretty hesitant to speak. And then after she did, I wished she hadn't spoke at all.

"Ben we found a tumor in your brain."
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