Silenced

Chapter 1

Billie sat on the cold cement of the bus stop as he breathed in a chilling breath of air. He waited alone, most students drive themselves to school. Billie Joe wondered if he will ever be like them.

The sky was gloomy, blocking the sun with dark gray clouds. This only made Billie colder, causing him to shiver against his book filled backpack. He tapped his converse uncontrollably against the road. The hems of his jeans were ripped and had various holes. He wasn't surprised though, he's had those jeans since eighth grade.

Although Billie Joe wasn't a big fan of school, he anxiously waited for the bus to get there. He was glad to do anything that got him out of his house. That house was the source of all his pain. All his misery.

He wondered if today would be the day that he ran away. Who would care anyway? Billie was basically invisible already. Who would even notice? Running away would be nice. Running away would be peaceful. But what if he followed him. Then what?

Maybe he shouldn't run away, for his strides would be small enough for him to easily follow. Small enough for him to catch him.

"Billie?"

Billie Joe looked up quickly, suddenly pulled out of his pointless thoughts. His big green eyes looked up at no other than Mike. He towered over Billie, making Billie Joe look smaller than he already was.

Just as Mike had expected, Billie didn't respond. He took his eyes off of Mike and stared towards the empty road, for it was too early for cars to be passing by. Mike frowned, but what did he expect? Billie Joe to suddenly start talking again?

He stopped talking after his dad died, but it wasn't as bad as it was now. Before he would talk rarely, but now Mike was lucky to get a word out of him everyday. He felt like they were losing their bond, and they were losing it fast.

Billie used to be so fun to be around, just a plain old ray of sunshine. Now he was depressing to be around, just a dark shadow of nothing. He was wearing the same clothes he wore yesterday.

Without wasting another second, Mike sat down next to Billie Joe. He rested his elbows on his knees as Billie sat with his knees up and his hands pulled to his chest. Billie avoided eye contact with Mike.

"Feeling better today?" Mike pointlessly asked.

He turned his gaze over to Billie Joe. The baggy sweatshirt on his shoulders rose and fell as he shrugged silently.

Billie did want to tell Mike that he wasn't any better today, but he couldn't. It was like his life had him in a choke hold, and if he dared to speak a word, he would be suffocated from existence.

Billie Joe felt the tension growing. If there was anything that Billie hated, it was awkwardness. Being that he rarely responded to Mike, there was a lot of it. He silently prayed for the bus to pull up any second now, but that didn't keep him from having to sit next to Mike on the bus.

"I was gonna ask if I could come over to your house today?" Mike innocently asked.

He wasn't trying to get anything out of Billie, or even try to figure out what's going on at Billie Joe's house, he just wanted to spend some time with his friend.

Billie Joe suddenly stiffened. No, Mike can't come over. If Mike comes over, then he'll see him. He'll see what he does to Billie. No, no that can't happen. What would happen if that happened?

But there was no way that Billie could just look Mike straight in the eye and say no. Then Mike would ask why and pressure Billie Joe like a needle against a balloon until he told Mike about him. Billie wasn't ready to tell Mike that. He didn't know if he ever would be ready.

Billie Joe started to think about all that he did to him. The pain that he caused. The misery that he caused. He was the reason that Billie hated being home. Hated being held there like a prisoner. There was so much hate for that house, but there was no way that Billie Joe could express it. There was no way that Billie would speak up.

Before he could stop it, a tear fell from Billie's green eyes. It ran down his cheek slowly, causing him to wipe at it frustratedly. While Mike patiently waited for Billie to answer, he noticed the tear. He noticed Billie Joe wipe it away shamefully quick.

Mike laid a gentle hand on Billie's shoulder. Billie Joe flinched away from Mike's touch.

"Billie Joe, what's wrong? Are you okay?" Mike asked worriedly. He desperately tried to meet Mike's eyes.

Billie didn't respond. He only turned his head away from Mike, too scared to look in his eyes. The small boy shuffled himself away from Mike a few inches so that he was out of Mike's reach. When is that fucking bus going to get here?

Despite Billie's efforts to move away from Mike, Mike moved closer to Billie Joe. He could see Billie breathing in slowly as he stared at something in the distance. He was thinking, Mike just wished he would tell Billie Joe what it was.

"Come on, Bill. You know you can tell me anything," Mike said, surprised that Billie hadn't let anymore tears fall.

That's what set him off. Billie Joe didn't even give Mike a second look before he stood to his feet in his beat up shoes. He adjusted his backpack on his shoulders before kicking some gravel as he began to walk away.

Mike didn't move. He just watched as his small hopeless friend made his way down the abandoned street all alone. A breeze came by and Mike shivered, but it wasn't from the cold, it was from the fear. Fear for Billie.

Billie Joe came to a conclusion that it would be better if he walked to school today. He already felt bad enough letting a tear fall in front of Mike. He hasn't done that in years. There was no way that he would be able to sit next to Mike the whole way to school. Besides, the bus probably wasn't going to get there anytime soon.

He didn't know if Mike knew he was walking to school. He didn't know a lot about Mike at the moment. What was he thinking? Is he going to ask Billie to come over again? Would he understand if Billie Joe even considered telling Mike about him?

Billie pushed all those those away as he kicked a stray twig that laid on the street. He wrapped his weak fingers around the straps of his backpack in an attempt to make him look smaller. Maybe even disappear. That would be so great. If he could just disappear.

The burning sensation on Billie's back ensured that Mike was watching Billie Joe as he walked away. Every step he took, the more his guilt built up. He hated rejecting Mike about coming over. He hated worrying Mike. He hated having to ignore Mike. But most of all, he hated him.

If it weren't for him, Billie wouldn't be silenced.