Are you in the right Bathroom? (FtM Transgender)

Chapter Fourteen - Happy Crappy Birthday?

A/N Chapter fourteen, can't believe I've made it this far.

- Hunter

Chapter Fourteen - Happy Crappy Birthday?

We're going to Sydney, the one place that I don't want to go to right now due to the fact that I just want to spend time with Louise. I miss her so much and I'm not getting the best support from my parents right now. I know that my mother is getting me a bracelet with a big pretty jewel on it. I don't really want to have to deal with faking my happiness on my birthday. But I want to go to my comic store there in Sydney. I remember going there quite a while ago when I was about 10 years old. Comic book stores are pretty cool, yet expensive, they're still pretty cool. I'm glad that I'm finally on school break. Means I don't have to wear my stupid dress or any of that nonsense shit. I hate my school life. I hate my life in general and one day people won't know what they're getting due to the way they've made me feel. My birthday will suck this year. I really just want to spend it with Louise. And you know what sucks. I can't text her at night, because my parents and I are sharing the same room and they see the light that my phone produces. So I'm pretty much screwed for four days not being able to talk to her till late at night.

Anyway, we're going to Sydney because that is what my parents wanted to do. And we're staying in this big arse hotel with a gym and a swimming pool. I can't wait to check it all out. Hopefully there will be some fun stuff to do. The gym is exciting for me, because then I can create the body I want now and make sure that it is already for when I transition to be the full on Jamester that I am. I have people who support me right now, people who like me for me. Too bad my parents aren't like that. 

I think that would make things so much more easier for me then. Why can't I just live with a family that accepts me for me and not for what they believe that I should be. But they're taking me to Sydney. For my birthday. I bet you it will be another year without a proper birthday cake. I remember last year when my parents forgot my birthday, so I went to the petrol station and got my own birthday cake. It was more a cupcake. But it was still a sweet thing and I sang happy birthday to myself, because of course I'm an idiot like that. And then the next day they came into my room and wished me happy birthday for yesterday. The stupid idiots...

So tomorrow is my 16th birthday. I'll then officially be allowed to get my driver's license, yay! I'm not hoping to drive myself around any time soon. especially considering the fact that I turn on and off with suicidal thoughts that can attack me at any second. I'll get to go to the gym on my birthday tomorrow. I'll get to check the place out and rule the place that I'll call my little Jamesy boy kingdom. Because I just happen to be a super cutie like that. The gym. 

I decide to go to bed at like 12am that night and I sleep in till like 9. I'm not as excited for my birthday due to the fact that James and son/he/him won't be written in the card. It'll all be the completely opposite. Now I have a story to tell you. Yesterday when a hotel guy came to the door he called me sir. I GOT SO EXCITED!!! It seems that men don't pay close attention to that sort of detail. Where as the ladies do at the hotel. Because they all knew that I wasn't a guy. That in fact I was really female. I am trying to pass, but I just don't pass well enough. I was also getting pretty hot in my binder due to the fact that it was like a singlet. I needed to get a new one that didn't make me so hot and die underneath all my clothes.

Time to open presents now. I see the package in front of me and I'm not sure whether I want to open it or not. It could be something fantastic and cool, or it could be something that I completely hate. Like new clothing and just the bracelet that I really don't want, but I most likely have to wear and keep. I keep wishing that my parents already understood what I had to go through to get this far to the point that my journey now involves transphobic parents. And only one supporting member of my family that I told yesterday about who I was and who I want to become. And she totally understood me. She told me that I just had to stand up to my parents and fight for what I want. Even if it meant saying, 'I'll leave you and never ever see you again if you don't let me do what I want to do to make myself happy.' I wish things were that simple with my parents to get. My cousin Trudy got it in a heartbeat and my parents are all uptight about it. Like you've got to be fucking kidding me, is the younger society becoming the more open and greater society over the older people. I'd say so.