Are you in the right Bathroom? (FtM Transgender)

Chapter Three - Wrong Bloody Body

A/N Here comes chapter three, I hope you're all ready for it.  

-Hunter

Chapter Three - Wrong Bloody Body

Sitting on the ground like a complete idiot I am crying. So manly right? Hiding my face from all the teachers who walk past so that they don't question me. I just need to get away from the world, but it isn't that easy. Maybe if I had been born in the right body I possibly wouldn't be feeling the way I am feeling right now. Life for me is so much harder now. Things are becoming more complicated and I'm being stopped from being who I really am. I'm trying to become the best I can be, but I'm being halted each time I take a step. The school is delaying me become James, they're not even supporting me correctly.

Then there is the other guy who I'm friends with at this school, his name is Lewis. He has everything going for him. Including a supporting family.  Which isn't entirely fair from my perspective.  What happens to me in this? Am I just left here to suffer? Becoming jealous of Lewis everyday because he has the better relationship with my own care group teacher/coordinator of all the year 10s. He gets everything he wants, he can even wear his PE uniform out on excursions and then I'm left in the stupid dress, if only I could wear pants instead of the skirt that I have to wear during winter. I'd like the school more  if they did this.

But like that's going to happen any time soon. I'm going to continue wearing the PE uniform no matter what, I don't care what they say to me, they are not fucking up my mind. My parents have continuously tried to turn me into a girl over and over again. But it has never worked because I know that in my mind I am truly a boy and that there is nothing that they can do about it. So tough luck. Deal with it mum and dad.

I hear my friends Christina and Hannah talking to each other. They're talking about work experience, because we've got an early dismissal to go to the place where we are doing work experience. It is known as an orientation visit. I'm just going to email the place. Does it look like I can be stuffed with going to the place. They know me well enough. I go there at least once a month. They really don't need to see who I am. Thankfully I just need to wear neat clothing to the place. So I don't need to wear a skirt, that was one thing that I was worried about with this work experience stuff.

Hannah says she needs to go print something off at the library. Her and Christina are going, they ask if I want to come, I get up and follow them. The only reason I'm going is because I know that Louise will be there. And I know that I really need her support right now, and right now that's  all that I can ask for. I know she'll be there for me, at least I hope she will be.  I'm purposely staying back after the dismissal so that I can catch the bus home with her. Plus I want to spend a good amount of time with her, maybe even talk to her about some little things that are bothering me.

I see Louise in the library with a couple of her friends, I hate one of the friends that are sitting with her. Because she hates me so much. I try to be nice to her, but she turns into a complete bitch back to me. So I just gave up eventually and let things go in their own way. She still hates me to this day, but does it seem like I care? I tried to be nice and reason with her but instead she just gave me a cold shoulder. I swear she's jealous of me for being with Louise. I go sit myself on the couch down next to Louise, she smiles and looks at me.

"Smile." She says to me.

I don't feel like smiling so I just look at Louise's computer screen. I wonder what she's doing. She has a big speech to listen to next lesson, care group. She is so lucky that she finished all the building up into your career stuff. Because it is a tough piece of work. Maybe she can help me sometime. I'll ask her for help when I next get stuck. I look at her laptop again, she's written something on the screen. She's told me to stop crying. I can never cover up my tracks well enough, but who cares. She possibly saw me get taken out, considering she just had Biology.