Neophyte

Truth

Mariana was inside her kizh, making clothes for her children and Metztli, until she heard someone stop outside.

"Mariana, may I enter?"

"You may enter, Toypurina."

Toypurina bent slightly down to enter the kizh and sat beside Mariana. Mariana noticed that something troubled the young woman. "Something is in your mind."

Sighing, Toypurina said, "I didn't want to say this, but my brother informed me that we have received new members to our tribe. Refugees who had escaped from nearby ranchos were being abused. One of them was an adolescent who was raped by a Soldado de Cuera and is now pregnant."

Mariana covered her lips, feeling distraught. "Tonantzin (Our Revered Mother Earth). Icnotepilhuan (Poor child). To have her innocence taken away from her so violently."

"Yes, I met with her, and she is only sixteen. She is going to give birth soon, but her eyes are filled with void."

"What of her parents?"

"Her father was killed due to the beating he received while trying to defend his wife and daughter, and the mother died of disease. The poor girl had no one, and the ranch owner let this happen to 'breed' future workers."

Mariana made her hands into fists. She understood her daughter's hatred for the Spaniards and the Padres, and she tried to teach her daughter hope. Mariana wanted to believe that there were some good Spaniards like Victoriano. "It almost happened to me when I was younger. Remember when I told you?" Toypurina nodded. "I have never been so terrified in my life."

"You were brave, Mariana. You mustn't let the guilt overcome you."

"Victoriano was defending me, but he had to kill to save me. Such an action is never easy to forget. If I didn't go get water that night, then perhaps..."

"You and I know that if you and Victoriano hadn't killed those Soldados, then they would have done what they planned to do. There would have been no justice within the land they proclaimed as theirs."

Mariana stopped what she was doing and stood. "I know."

Toypurina watched Mariana as she slowly paced. "Didn't you tell me that when Victoriano was a Soldado, trying to pursue you?" The young woman decided to change the subject, not wanting Mariana's mood to sour even more.

Mariana stopped pacing and chuckled. "Yes, he did. I believed he wanted to use me, and I decided not to accept his advances. My grandmother, who was alive at the time, always told me that every Spaniard was evil, and I believed that."

"You and Valentina are very similar."

"More than I am willing to admit. Still, Victoriano pursued me without force. I slowly began to believe that there were some Spaniards who weren't all evil. He never left my side."

"It is because he was in love with you. He knew that what his people were doing was wrong."

"I was inconsolable when I had to leave my tribe, my home, my culture, my language, my grandmother. Victoriano was always by my side, but our challenge was yet to come when I became pregnant."

Toypurina's eyes softened. "Mariana, how long are you going to keep this secret? Guillermo and Valentina need to know the truth about their father."

Mariana immediately looked at Toypurina. "Please don't speak of it. I cannot afford anyone to know or listen. I should have kept this to myself."

"The secret is destroying you, Mariana. Whether you want to admit it or not, you have lied to your children. You and Victoriano." Before Mariana could counter, Toypurina stood as she continued, "Are you willing to die with the secret and keep pretending that their supposed father died? I understand Victoriano chose to become a man of God for all of your sakes, but when he can no longer continue his duties, you all will no longer have protection. Go away together and be the family you have always wanted."