Fade.

Bittersweet Heartache

"There is no pain greater than this, not the cut of a jagged-edged dagger nor the fire of a dragon's breath. Nothing burns in your heart like the emptiness of losing something, someone, before you truly have learned of its value."
                                          -Robert Salvatore

I've been living with Spencer for about a month now. I had to practically move in after my landlord decided to remodel half of the apartment building. Spencer tries to act like it doesn't bother him but I can tell that he just wants to be alone. Hell half the time he hides in his room with the door locked. Today I haven't been able to get him to come out.

"Reid come on. You gotta stop hiding in your room. I told you that I'll be out of here as soon as they finish. I promise."

No response. I knock a bit louder than usual. Maybe he spaced out reading a book.

"You don't open this door I'm gonna pick the lock. You know I know how to."

Still nothing. I turn the handle and it's not locked.

"I'm coming in so you better be wearing clothes. I don't wanna be traumatized."

I slowly open the door and walk in. He's curled up in a ball on his bed holding a book to his chest.

"Reid? You okay."

He didn't respond. He didn't even move. I took a closer look at the book he was holding close. It was the one Maeve had given to him. So I sat down on the side of the bed.

"I'm here if you need to talk or just have somebody here you know."

The bed shifted a bit and I look over at him. He had moved down leaving a small enough space for me to sit in on the side of the bed. I got up and moved to the spot he made and he slowly laid his head on my lap still as silent as before.

"It wasn't your fault you know that right?"

He nodded and finally uttered a small sentence it the most heart breaking tone I've ever heard.

"It's been two years and it still hurts."

I felt the tears welling up in my eyes but I held them back for him as I ran my fingers through his hair.

"It's going to hurt Reid. It always will. But you have two choices. You can let it break you down or you can let it motivate you to try your damn hardest to save other people."

He nodded a bit and let out a small shaky sigh. He looked like a puppy that had been left behind by his family without a care and it broke my heart.

"Do you think she really loved me..?

I could tell he was crying now. His voice was shaky and it cracked a bit with each word.

"I know she did. I may not have been here when it happened but I know she did."

"How..?"

"Well for one you're a total sweet heart. You're smart, funny, and you care about everyone. You make sure people know that you do. Maybe she didn't know what you look like but I can tell you that when it comes to a guy like you nobody would care. That's how amazing you are."

He looked up at me with puffy bloodshot eyes filled with complete and utter helplessness. And I couldn't help the way my voice shook with the next few words I said to him.

"Anybody would be lucky to love you."

"But I'm weird."

I smiled at him a bit and kept running my fingers through his messy hair.

"You may be weird but that doesn't make you any less lovable and perfect."

He smiled a tiny forced smile and closed his eyes. We both ended up falling asleep. Me propped up against the headboard and his head still in my lap. Anybody would be lucky as hell to love him...