English Love Affair (a 5sos fan fiction)

part 27

Guys trigger warning. This has suicide in it so yeah sorry.

"I'm sorry . . . I. . . . I shouldn't have done that." Alex says getting up off the floor. "Yeah I. . . . I shouldn't have let you." I say getting up and opening the stall door. "Thank you for being there for me though Alex. That was really sweet and appreciate it. It just wasn't necessary." I walk out the door and give him a small smile before walking down the hall and all the way out the front door.
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I'm walking home and I don't even realize it has started to rain. I walk for what feels like forever and then I just break down. That girl, as much as I hate to admit it is right. How could anyone want to date me? I'm ugly and antisocial. Why would Calum ever date me. Why does he want me. I don't even want to be here. I wouldn't want me. My parents probably don't want me. Its a good thing they are gone. I finally break and stop walking. I kneel down on the sidewalk in the pouring rain and cry. I don't want to be alive anymore. Nobody wants me. Calum would be better off without me. He doesn't love me anyway. Neither does Alex. He doesn't know what he wants. He can't want me. I'm worthless. I finally get myself to stand back up and keep on walking. The rain reflecting my mood.
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I lock myself in my parents bathroom and look through their medicine cabinet. I find some of my mom's old blood pressure medicine and take the cap off. I poor a whole handful out and start crying. What am I doing? I've never been suicidal before. There is nobody here to miss me. So why am I holding back? I have made up my mind. I put as many as I can swallow in my mouth at a time. I keep putting pills in my mouth until there aren't any more in the bottle. I see I have a text. But that's all I remember before I pass out.
~Calum's point of view~
I get a text from y/n that sends panic through my whole body. "I love you Calum and thanks for everything. Goodbye. I'll miss you." I run to the boys and show them the text. "Mates! I think she's gonna try to commit suicide!" I say in pure panic. "Call 911!" Luke says getting worried too. Mikey stands up and calls Hannah. Ashton comes over to try and comfort me. "I did. I'm not letting her go that easy." I run out to the back of the hotel with Luke following. Luke texts her saying, "Hang on we are on our way. Don't do anything you might regret. We all love you okay."
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When we get to her house the door is unlocked. I run around the house calling her name. "Cal! I think she's in here!" Luke yells from across the house. I run as fast as I can up the stairs. He is standing by the bathroom door in her parent's room. I bang on the door and call her name. Please be alright. Please be okay. Please. Please be alive. I can't lose you. I try to open the door again and it's locked. I kick the door in and find y/n laying on the floor unconscious. "Heh way to get all FBI on that door." Luke says. I can tell he's trying to lighten the mood. But nothing can keep me from laying next to her and crying. I feel Luke put his hand on my shoulder just as I hear the ambulance pull up. Luke goes to talk to them. I pick her up and put her on the stretcher. I'm not letting anyone touch her but me. I hold her hand as they put her in the ambulance. And I don't let go as they drive us away.