Well I'm in trouble... I remember being at the funeral and then drinking 37 cans of Pepsi then having Ashton bring me home because I was drunk off the fizz.
But... I forgot that he was drunk as well so that's probably how we slep together.
(This isn't gonna be a smut you little nasties xD but you know what I mean when I said they slept together :3)
He was still here in my bed and its weird because... it just is okay. He looked at me and said btw I stole all your taco bell coupons, I just cried a little bit in the inside. "Awe not my coupons ;-;"
Zendaya popped in the room to say sorry about aggressively pushing bucket's coffin in the grave and then she screamed and hit Ashton's earlobe and yelled "that's my man!!!" Ashton jumped out of bed and yelled "that's my baby daddy!!" I just looked at him like (⊙_☉) "what do you mean I'm your baby daddy?"
He replied " you're pregnant Cal" I was so confused and Zendaya was punching wall holes, she's kinda hot though (sorry I had to xD). I told him that I wasn't pregnant and then he gave me a magic 8 ball and I asked it if I was pregnant it said "As I see it yes" Zendaya fainted and I cried. I can't be pregnant, I'll get fat and then I'll not be able to wear my skinny jeans. I asked the ball if Aston was my baby daddy and it replied "reply hazy. Try again later" so basically he might not be the daddy. I don't understand why I had to get pregnant by the witch gods right now though I think they could've at least waited two more weeks because I was supposed to go to the steak house this week but I'll wait I guess -.- I have to find the baby daddy now so obviously I'm gonna go on reality TV and figure out who's the baby daddy. Hopefully it'll be Kanye so I can get that money (gold digger status)
YOU ARE READING
Sexy Time with Calum
RandomI can't explain this good because it legit makes no sense but hey I'm bored so why not xD I don't know how this will go but I will put other celebrities in this and hopefully it makes you laugh because its gonna be that good
