Sexy Time with Calum

Keeping up with the Kardashians

Well Taylor left instantly and now I'm lying on the cold hard ground. (I'm gonna be living threw puns for the rest of my life) I haven't seen light since the day Taylor left me which may or may not haven been about 3 minutes. It's just been such a hard day so I decided to call up my girl Kim, she gave me such words of advice threw the tele phone

Kim
Tragic

Calum
It's just been so hard. Kim had hung up because of an important conversation she was having with Kayne about presidential nomination. I decide I must only do one thing and one thing only but before I could do it, before I could eat my taco, I got a call from Kris. She told me that I had to come over and that there was something urgent. I threw on my jet pact and flew like Jake Long into the Kardashian headquarters. Once I got there and saw their beautiful checkered floor and staircasesI knew I was made to eat soup right there in the middle of the room. She brought me over to her desk and sat me down.

Kris
So do you understand why you're here?

Calum
Honestly Doctor I don't know, am I gonna die?, do I only have 3kilograms to live?? Tell me doc I need to know

Kris
No Chuck you're not gonna die, but if you would turn your head

As I turned my head I saw a dark shady figure next to me. The chair turned around and I saw Adam Lavigne turn around.

Adam
You've got it kid, you've got the x-factor

Calum
Umm Adam you're from The Voice

Adam
Ah shit why do I keep forgetting that.

Kris
No I didn't want you to turn that way, also security take Adam out of my office.

Adam
You'll never catch me suckers!!

He ran off into the moondust and James Young cried at the site as the dish ran away with the spoon.

James
Stop spooning you two

(Okay I'm gonna try to stop with the strange puns now)

Kris
Turn the other way Calum

As I turned I saw a wild Kylie pop out of a lipkit

Kris
I've gathered you two here to tell you something important

Kylie
I sold out in 4 minutes mom

Kris
Good work Kylie.

Kylie
Who is the real Kylie, idk.

Calum
True

Kris
Kylie... Calum, you two are siblings

Calum
Wait Kylie is my long lost twin Jingo

Kris
Yes!!

Kylie
Cool anyways I'm gonna go sit in the pantry and snap Kay

Calum
Yass I get free lipkits!! Suck it Miley

Kylie
Woah just cause we're long lost siblings doesn't mean you get my kits free, you have to pay a extra $50 family bonus, but Miley gets it free.

Calum
Score!!

Kourtney walked in and as soon as she did Kylie shouted at her
"You'll have to pay the family bonus too!! Kourthouse"
Kourtney ran pass so fast like a dodo bird with her purse and started swing at Kylie shouting "don't be fucking rude" Khloe walked in and broke it up and then turned to Kourtney who said "grinch" and smirked, right at that moment Khloe threw water on Kylie's hair and Korutney's shoes and Kim ran in stole Kris's phone and threw it off the second staircase and went in the confessional to say "it's what she deserves" with a sinister smile at the end.