Am I Manly Yet? Kiribaku + Bakuquad

To close to home {Chapter 12}

{Aizawa's POV}

Consciousness looms over me, and I groan. I try to fight it off for a while, before I give into being awake. Early. Again. Dark gray walls stare back at me, though at I can barely see them through the small amount of vision I can stand right now. My eyelids are heavy, weighing down my will to get up. I can tell the sun is about to come up, though it's still dark. Well isn't that some shitty metaphor I think distantly as I slowly stand from my bed. Cursing as I stumble over my hero costume lying discarded on the floor, I lazily walk to the bathroom.

The bathroom is small, just like the rest of my apartment. I don't really think a big place would suit me, but it'd be nice to have a house. A place to call my own. Its always been frustrating that being an underground hero gets you minimum pay, despite still working as hard and saving people just like regular heroes. I push that depressing thought aside, knowing theres nothing I can do about it, and half ass-ly run a brush through my hair.

I dread thinking about having to teach class today. As much as I care for those kids, they're quite a handful. I want them all to do well in life, despite their personal problems. I want them to achieve their goals, and actually be happy when they get there. But the anxiety eats away at me, knowing its up to them. All I can do is protect them, guide them there as best as I can. But ultimately their life is in their hands.

... Speaking of class, today is the day the "new problem child" comes back. A small sigh slips from my mouth thinking about having to deal with him. The kid's obviously been off. Zoning out more during class, coming in late, coming in injured. But i don't know how much of it is the pressure of being at UA, trying to be a teenager and a hero at the same time. Is he really just tired of school, is he really just overzealous and gets hurt when he trains? Or is it more than that. I don't know what's my right to even ask, is it my right to push for an answer when I'm just his teacher? But I cant stop the concern, it reminds me of when I was a kid. Though I had less bruises, I had the same look on my face. The same looming energy around me. I know I could very well be projecting, but I also know how it feels when no one knows. When no one seems to care enough to know, or even ask.

My train of thought is interrupted when I feel fuzz rub against my leg. I pick up my cat who I named little shit because well, he's a little shit. I seem to attract those. Even though he was begging for attention, he almost immediately squirms out my arms, and I gladly let him go. The farther away from me the better I think halfheartedly. Though he was really nice to hold for a second, I guess.

As I walk out of my room I realize I was zoned out, thinking for a while. Trapped in my brain like always. I know I wont be late, if anything I'll still be early like always. But I like to be early. The earlier I am the more peace and quiet I get, while mentally preparing for the day.

My brain is distant while walking to the UA campus. Some teachers live farther away, though I chose an apartment about a 15 minute walk from the school, just incase of an emergency. Incase a student needs me. I can't bear the thought of being there to late.

Though I regularly enjoy the walks before and after work, today is to bright. It makes me eyes feel tight, like they're magnets trying to be pulled out of their sockets. The fact I regularly overuse my quirk probably doesn't help with my light sensitivity, but I got used to it. I had to get used to it. At some point I realized my quirk alone wasn't good enough to rely on, I had to learn to rely on myself too. Though, I think I always have in a way. It just changed from purely mental, to mentally and physically.

I get to the school, where I skip going to the teachers lounge. I don't really have the energy to talk to people on most days, but today especially. Today I feel like my bones weigh me down, my eyelids are begging to fall closed, my skin squeezes the breath out of me. God what is up today? It's usually annoying being awake but it hasn't been this outright depressing and exhausting in a while?