Am I Manly Yet? Kiribaku + Bakuquad

I need to change, but it all stays the same. {Chapt 16}

I wake up to being gently shook, and go to open my eyes. AGGGG it's so bright! I immediately close them again. I groan and murmur out "huh, wha' is it?" Who the fuck is waking me up. Why is my heady pounding. I hear a familiar voice say quietly "Sup Ei, what you doin' here?" Oh, thank god it's Yudai. I slowly open my eyes and remember where I am. Remember all of yesterday. Why did I have to go and remember that, couldn't I just have stayed asleep. I go to wipe my hands over my face, but feel I'm holding something heavy. Oh, the whiskeys still in my grasp. I guess I fell asleep with it in my hand, luckily I somehow didn't drop it.

I put it on the ground, actually wipe my face, and go to sit up. It's a struggle for a second because I feel sluggish and hammocks can be so uncooperative. But when I'm finally able to sit up I see Yu holding some Tylenol and a glass of water. "Figured you like this." He says, still quiet. I just nod and take it from him, then chug the water. Man I feel like I haven't drank water in years. "Soooo... not to pry but what're you doin here?" He says after a minute, probably waiting for my mind to fully be awake. But it's still not, I feel like a snail. A dry eyed snail with a headache. "Well, yesterday sucked. I needed somewhere I actually liked."

After that he looks like he's in thought for a minute, and sits down on the floor against the wall. He grabs a container that was on the ground already and opens it, revealing half eaten food he starts to pick at. "You want some?" I hear him say after a few bites, and honestly yes I do want some. I haven't eaten in a while. But I shake my head no, because no way am I taking someone else's food. He just keeps eating for a minute before saying "Well, I got no room to talk bout' what you decide to do. But I do care bout' you Ei, so just don't go n' do things that're to stupid. And if u ever wanna talk I can listen, heh"  After that I give a little chuckle, because his quirk is literally just better hearing. Kinda like a dog or cat.

But I guess I should give a real response. "Well, I don't know how much I'm allowed to say so I won't go into details. But basically yesterday at school, some bad guys broke in. No one got really badly hurt besides Aizawa, and they don't really know how his quirk will be when he wakes up." I sigh, but he sits silently waiting for me to continue. I wasn't planning on it but, I guess if I tell anyone, I'd want it to be Yu. "I just... wish I was more help. Or not in the way of the real heroes. I just couldn't stop thinking about it and... wanted to stop thinking about it I guess." When I finish talking he continues to chew, looking in thought a bit. After he's done chewing though he starts to talk."Well, you are in training dude. The whole point of training is so you can fight guys like that one day. Not right now. These are pro heroes you're comparin yourself to, guys with way more time and experience than you. Ts' not fair to yourself. Plus, you already got down the spirit of a hero, that alone is pretty admirable. And I'm sure you helped more than you think, you're already strong for your age."

He takes the last bite of his food, and then after continues when he realizes I'm not responding. "And well, I can't tell you what to do or nothin' but I care bout you. I know I'm being a hypocrite but, trust me that shit doesn't help. Just makes you forget for a bit, then it's all worse. Just gets in the way of a good life. And I'm not tryna say to never touch it, but I promise it's better every now and then just fir fun." I honestly don't know what to say, I know he's right but it's not like my life is any good without it either. And honestly, a part of me doesn't care if I ruin myself. I'm already ruined. But I don't want to tell anyone that. Plus, I should at least try to not keep doing this to myself I guess. I don't really get why I should care, but I know I should care. So I guess I can try, at least for a bit.

I can always give in if I feel like it, so I just say "Ya man, I know you're right. I can't promise I'll listen, you know how stubborn I am. But I'll think about what u said, all of it. I'll at least try to take your advice. Thanks for listening Yu." He just nods and stands up, then turns to me and puts his hand out for me to grab. I take it and pull myself up easily, but need a second because now I'm really dizzy and lightheaded. But I'm pulled out of that feeling when I hear "Well, sorry I gotta leave cuz my lunch breaks bout over. Gotta get back to work. But promise you can come by anytime and talk more after I close, if you wanna." I smile at him genuinely, but soon it turns into a frown when I realize. "Oh shit, lunch? What time is it. I gotta get to school. Damn my stuffs at home. Sorry Yu, I gotta go."