Secret Admirer (cake)

pain

I fell asleep shortly after Niall left.

I checked my phone and saw I had a text from Calum. I didn't check it. It would hurt. More than I already hurt.

I didn't wanna get up but my mom reminded me that I had an appointment in two hours. She was oblivious to what happened with me and Cal.

As soon as I checked the text, i regretted it as tears poured down my face.

"I can't believe this. It hurts. But whatever. I love you but I guess I always knew you wouldn't love someone like me. I saw you with your little friend when he got there and you ran outside. Be happy with him. Bye Luke." It said.

I knew exactly what he mean. As soon as Niall got here I ran up to him and hugged him so tight. Then we came in my room and I couldn't stop crying.

I grabbed the vase of delicate roses. I noticed that they weren't thornless but that didn't matter as I threw it at the wall, hard. The case shattered and water exploded everywhere. The flowers fell to the ground, a couple broken. Good.

I couldn't stop sobbing, especially when my mom came in, demanding to know what the noise was and looked shocked.

"Luke, what's wrong?" She asked, wrapping her arms around me. "He- he hates me" I cried. "What? Who?" She asked. She was so confused. "Calum" I choked. "No he doesn't. Why would you say that?" She asked.

"We- we got in a fight. He ended it. Were done. And he hates me" I squeaked. She pulled me into her arms again . "shh, he doesnt hate you. I promise. He's just hurting." She whispered. "He does." I disagreed. "Why dont you apologize?" She asked. I shrugged. "He won't believe me" I sighed.

"I'm so sorry Luke. Just give him a little space and time, yeah?" She asked. I nodded. "Okay" I agreed. "Good. Now you should get ready for your appointment." She said. I nodded.

I took a really long shower, eventually ending my tears. When I got out, I had an hour to get ready. So I plopped down on my bed. I groaned into the pillow and sighed. I felt tears start to form in my eyes as I remembered that Calum and I had cuddled up in this bed.

I rolled over, fresh air hitting my face. "Not again." I thought as a tear went down my face. Fuck my life. I wiped it away and got up, trying to not think about Calum. I had to get ready, and u absolutely could not be crying and acting like this at my appointment. I could cry and fall apart all I needed; as soon as I got back from my appointment.

I sighed and pulled on some black skinny jeans, followed by a nirvana shirt. I had to look okay. I styled my hair and stuck a black lip ring in. I sighed and looked at myself. I didn't look decent at all. I looked horrible. Absolutely terrible.

Oh well.

My mom knocked on my door lightly. "Ready?" She asked. I slid some shoes on. "Yeah" I faked a smile and she nodded. "Let's go" she said. I followed her, turning off my light and closing my door.

The drive to the doctors clinic was quiet besides the music. The music wasn't up loud but it distracted me mainly. I tried not to pay attention to the words, but the drums and guitar and bass. The words might hurt. The words might bring up memories.

***

After my appointment, I sat on my bed. I didn't start crying until my phone started ringing and I saw Calums name. I answered as fast as I could. "Calum?" I asked. I tried to make it sound like I wasn't crying.

"How was your appointment?" He asked. "It was fine" I answered. I'd keep my answers short and simple so that it was harder to hear that I was crying. 

"Are you okay?" He asked. "Yeah" i answered. "Luke" he sighed. "Calum" I answered. "I'm sorry. I really am. It was just flowers. And I just, it wasn't your fault. I'm so so sorry. I'm sorry." He cried. "Baby, its fine. Its fine. Okay?" I asked.

"Luke, will you forgive me?" He asked.