BE ON CLOUD Masterpieces~A Snippet Collection

BOC Snippet 12-4 Minutes-Surrender

BOC Snippet

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Surrender

Tonkla's POV

I know I am not the smartest person in the world the moment I decided to date him. I don't what he saw in someone like me. Someone who is destined to be a nobody and fade when times come and definitely someone not worth to be standing side by side with people of his caliber.

Yet, he pursued me. 

At first, I didn't understand what he was trying to do. Why was he asking me out without asking my other classmates or seniors. Why was he being nice to me buying me snacks and drinks during hazing and club events. Why does he seem to be around when I finish my classes. Not that I have anyone in class I can ask. I didn't make close friends if you want to know. I don't know why. Maybe it was my vibes. Maybe it was me who has the wall up high and no one really bothered to break through but that was okay. I am used to that kind of life. 

It was only when people started talking louder and started pointing out how he was around more that I started to notice him lingering around. I thought perhaps as the student council president, he was supposed to take care of those poor kids like me. I am a scholarship kid after all. I don't have rich parents like the rest of my classmates and I am still a year younger than all of them. I heard whispers and words exchanged when I was around sometimes but since those are nothing physical, I didn't care for it too much. After all, verbal insults don't hurt more than physical ones. 

The first time he took me to the movies and mentioned it as a date, I remembered the awkwardness and the tension between us. Tension for him and awkward for me. To think that someone like him actually has intention to mean this as a date was something that I can't exactly comprehend. All that came to mind was why. Why would he want to have anything to do with someone of my background? Shouldn't he goes off with all the beautiful rich talented people around him? I don't get it. I guess...I just kinda went along with it. 

Do I love him then? I wasn't sure but I know I didn't dislike him. Not when he started doing nice things for me and Dome without wanting anything back. He didn't hurt me. He didn't demand that I sleep with him. He didn't even touch me without asking me first. I was confused but I didn't say any of these out. Was I grateful? Absolutely. I just didn't know how to express those. 

So when asked me to be his boyfriend, I said yes. 

I remembered how he was laughing happily as he hugged me and kissed my cheeks. He asked me that question when he took me to the beach for a date. It was a long time since I last went to a beach. We spent our first night at the nearby luxury hotel nearby as well. 

I haven't told him that he wasn't the first man I was with. The thought of telling him got stuck in my throat and refused to come out. I wanted to tell him but I didn't want to ruin the moment by telling him my past trauma. He doesn't deserve that. He was so gentle with me. He didn't hurt me. All he gave me was pleasure and an experience that felt like it help erase all my bad ones. 

I surrendered myself to this man. I'll always cherish that, knowing that there is someone who was willing to love me. I don't think I have anything to complain. 

Maybe I don't have that right to complain.

Finding out Miss Fahsai was his fiance wasn't that of a surprise. She was the most beautiful, richest and most talented and nicest person in campus from what I heard. Makes sense they are both the ideal couple of the campus. 

When she kissed him on the lips after appearing with the birthday cake, I felt faint suddenly. Like air was sucked out of me and I felt cold, like my blood drained somewhere. I was not supposed to feel anything. This was what I thought all the while. I stepped back from the party as slowly as I could and left the mansion. 

By the time I realize it myself, I was at the pier near the beach he took me too. I don't know how long I sat there but I vaguely remember watching the sun rise. My fingers and face are numbing cold but that doesn't compare to the throbbing pain I felt in my heart and my stomach. 

I don't remember how long I cried but when the sun came up, my eyes were dry and strained. All that flashed in my mind were the sweet nothings he whispered to me in that room of the hotel where we spent our first night. He doesn't know that but those became my anchor since that night. I meant it when I said I surrender myself to him. 

Eventually I felt a presence and instinctively, I looked to the side and there he was. 

The one man I who owned my heart was standing in front me. I try to stand up despite every muscles in my body protested. Only then I realized how long I have sat in the same position lost in my thoughts. 

His hugs were tight. His strong arms where all over my back, as if to sooth me and trying to warm my cold hands. Then he started explaining himself. I don't remember the words he said. I just stared at him. 

The face of this handsome man now contorted and twisted with desperate words trying to convince me. That his love for me was real. His feelings for me, genuine. All his actions were to protect me. All pleading for me to reconsider. To not give up on us. Stray tears started streaming down his face as he frantically trying to get me to respond. This was my first time actually witnessing him behaving like this. 

I smiled as I cupped his face. 

I don't know what to say to him save to give him a kiss. 

I am not sure if it was enough to tell him I have surrendered myself to him. 

From now on, whatever happens to us, I will be there with him. 

I don't think I can run now. 

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