Numbah Twenty One - This Round

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Maybe this time

I’ll do it right.

Maybe I won’t fuck things up

like so many times before.

Maybe this round,

I’ll recognize fake feelings.

When I see them,

not when it’s too late.

Maybe this time

I won’t completely bust my heart,

let the gravel from the fall

sink into my skin.

Maybe this round

I’ll be able to say

I love you

and honestly mean it.

Maybe this time

I can take it to a level

that is comfortable

for both of us.

Not one in control of the other,

not one dangling off the side

while the other stands and watches

with such a sinister smile.

Not one who controls

the action and the emotions,

and sleeps soundlessly at night

while the other stays up

and thinks about the possibilities.

Maybe this round

I won’t regret sending him

that first message,

that gateway to potential.

Maybe this time,

everything will turn out right.

Just this once.

Just this one time.

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